When I got my G1 license in September, 1999, the expiry date read August 26, 2004. I never thought that day would actually come. And now, it has come and gone.
The Hek
Friday, August 27, 2004
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
Thursday, August 19, 2004
MOTHER F**KER!!!!
So yesterday I went to the doctor to have my ingrown toenail taken care of. I sat in the office and time went by like the time it takes a turtle to walk from Toronto to Ottawa. Finally, the doctor comes in with a sheepish look on his face:
"Hi The Hek, I'm really sorry but it looks like I have run out of the freezing that I need for your toe. We will have to rebook the appointment."
To be fair, The Hek's doctor did look around for the freezing medication. He went to other doctor's offices and even ran to the pharmacy downstairs.
What a lousy time to run out of freezing. To make things worse, one of my campers stepped on the bad toe and it hurt like hell.
Well, the way I should see it is that it is a blessing in disguise.
The Hek
So yesterday I went to the doctor to have my ingrown toenail taken care of. I sat in the office and time went by like the time it takes a turtle to walk from Toronto to Ottawa. Finally, the doctor comes in with a sheepish look on his face:
"Hi The Hek, I'm really sorry but it looks like I have run out of the freezing that I need for your toe. We will have to rebook the appointment."
To be fair, The Hek's doctor did look around for the freezing medication. He went to other doctor's offices and even ran to the pharmacy downstairs.
What a lousy time to run out of freezing. To make things worse, one of my campers stepped on the bad toe and it hurt like hell.
Well, the way I should see it is that it is a blessing in disguise.
The Hek
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
This is another e-mail that was sent to me:
Owed Two a Spell Chequer
Eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea; It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong or write, it shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is made it nose bee fore two long. And eye can put the error rite, it's rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it and I'm shore your pleased two no It's letter perfect awl the weigh, My chequer tolled me sew.
The Hek
Owed Two a Spell Chequer
Eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea; It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong or write, it shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is made it nose bee fore two long. And eye can put the error rite, it's rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it and I'm shore your pleased two no It's letter perfect awl the weigh, My chequer tolled me sew.
The Hek
Friday, August 13, 2004
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I am going to be completely honest with you people. Ingrown toe-nails are very,very painful. I have a bad feeling that I am going to be operated on. This adds to the two cavities that need to be taken care of. FUUUUUN!
To all my readers in North Carolina:
If any of you come across a pretty Canadian girl named Emily. Please tell her that The Hek misses her very much and can't wait to see her again.
The Hek
To all my readers in North Carolina:
If any of you come across a pretty Canadian girl named Emily. Please tell her that The Hek misses her very much and can't wait to see her again.
The Hek
Monday, August 09, 2004
This was sent to me through e-mail:
The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade, in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!
Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
----------------------------------------------------
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but his commandos made it.
---------------------------------------------------
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.
----------------------------------------------------
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.
----------------------------------------------------
Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
----------------------------------------------------
In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
----------------------------------------------------
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."
----------------------------------------------------
Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.
----------------------------------------------------
Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
----------------------------------------------------
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
----------------------------------------------------
Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
----------------------------------------------------
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
---------------------------------------------------
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
----------------------------------------------------
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
--------------------------------------------------
Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
----------------------------------------------------
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.
----------------------------------------------------
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
----------------------------------------------------
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
----------------------------------------------------
Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Bethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
---------------------------------------------------
The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
---------------------------------------------------
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.
----------------------------------------------------
Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.
----------------------------------------------------
Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.
----------------------------------------------------
Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.
The Hek
The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade, in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!
Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
----------------------------------------------------
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but his commandos made it.
---------------------------------------------------
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.
----------------------------------------------------
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.
----------------------------------------------------
Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
----------------------------------------------------
In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
----------------------------------------------------
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."
----------------------------------------------------
Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.
----------------------------------------------------
Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
----------------------------------------------------
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
----------------------------------------------------
Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
----------------------------------------------------
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
---------------------------------------------------
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
----------------------------------------------------
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
--------------------------------------------------
Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
----------------------------------------------------
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.
----------------------------------------------------
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
----------------------------------------------------
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
----------------------------------------------------
Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Bethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
---------------------------------------------------
The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
---------------------------------------------------
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.
----------------------------------------------------
Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.
----------------------------------------------------
Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.
----------------------------------------------------
Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.
The Hek
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)