Monday, December 15, 2003

It looks like it was a wacky wild kool-aid style type of day in Iraq. It started with a phone call.

Operator: United States Armed Forces. How may we help you?
Saddam: Ah yes, is Butts there? First name is Seymour.
Operator: One moment. Hey is there a Seymour Butts here? Seymour Butts? Hey I want Seymour Butts. Where is he?
Saddam: *snickers

Unknown to Saddam, the call was traced and it lead army officials to a small house.

House's Owner: I don't know what you are talking about. Saddam isn't here.
USA General 1: Well the call came from here and we're not leaving until we are sure that he's not here.
USA General 2: Keep searching men, I'm just going to rest against this unstable brick wall and have a smoke.
HUGE CRASH!

When the dust all cleared the army found a giant spider hole.

USA General 1: This is the US Armed Forces. Is there anybody in this hole?
Saddam: Ah no, there is nobody living in this hole.
USA General 1: Well that's good enough for me.........WAIT A MINUTE!

After a bit of a struggle, Saddam came out peacefully.

USA General 1: We have you now, Saddam.
Saddam: Saddam? What are you talking about? I am not Saddam. I am America's sweetheart, Judy Garland.
USA General 1: Wow Judy, you've really let yourself go.
USA General 2: Hold on a sec. If you are Judy Garland, then why is there a poster in your hole that says "I am not Judy Garland. I am Saddam."
Saddam: *sigh.......It's too hot today.

Well, Saddam still tried to reason with the generals.

Saddam: Look fellas, I keep telling you that I'm not Saddam. I'm.....I'm....I'm Chad Sexington.
USA General 1: The same Chad Sexington that kept crashing his car into my father's grocery store?!
Saddam: Um, no, no. I meant to say that my real name is, Ludwig Van Seline
USA General 2: The same Ludwig Van Seline that keeps taking pictures of my sister?!
Saddam: No. No. My real name is........think Saddam, think........it's......BENEDICT ARNOLD!

Despite his efforts, Saddam could not fool the military and now sits in jail. The sun has finally shined on Iraq. Here is to PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!

The Hek

No comments: