The Hek is officially having a quarter-life crisis.

On April 7, 2006, I will hand in my last assignment and since I do not have any exams, I will officially complete my university studies.

My goal was to have a job and an apartment by the time I graduate and begin to live in Ottawa. The Nation's Capital was where my career as a wannabe radio DJ/journalist was going to start. However, acquiring a job for anything has been difficult. For one thing, I have not been able to search for any job because of my school workload. Also, when I do find a job, the employer wants you to start right away. I recall in November, this great opportunity to be a general reporter for the Ottawa Sun. Problem was, the job was to start in December and there was no way they would give me the job if I applied and asked to start in May. I'm unable to start right away. There is no way I could balance a 9-5 job and a full course load at the same time. I have two options:

Option one: Stay in Ottawa, get some sort of job, get an apartment, pay the bills, rent and the regular expenses and on top of that, search for a job in radio.

Option two: Go home to Thornhill, live with the parents (free room and board), convince them to get the internet, get a job (probably with the camps) and search for a job in radio.

I spoke to Mark about it and he brought up some valid points. He says that the negative feelings I have towards Thornhill are "in my head." If I go home, any money I make can be saved and not go to things such as rent and utilities. He also said I shouldn't limit myself by staying in Ottawa and only looking for a job there. Living in Thornhill is not a commitment. As soon as you find something in radio and if its out of town you will be able to make an easier move; the transition to the place out of town would go smoother if you leave from Thornhill rather then leave from Ottawa. Then, Mark's spiritual side hits me with this: you cannot rush or control your own fate. Everything that will happen to you, will happen on its own and take as much time as it needs. You have to be patient.

I have to admit, option two is not my favorite; but, it's the most logical. The main problem with going home is that I won't have a CKCU. I need a place to practice my craft. Granted there is CHRY (York) and CIUT (university of Toronto) but, I don't know if they would accept non-student volunteers the same way CKCU does. The commute to these stations would also be a pain in the ass. There is one thing I can take solace in. Recently my program director asked if I would become the volunteer assistant news editor. One of the reasons why I accepted was because my PD told me that I could go home to Thornhill and still do the job as all it entails, is receiving and e-mailing story ideas.

So this is my little crisis. I need a goddamn miracle.

The Hek