Monday, March 26, 2007

B***h Session

There are a lot of things on my mind lately. The more I keep these things to myself, the more angrier and frustrated I get. Therefore, as an act of therapy, I intend to go on a rant.

Please note: I am going to be ranting and complaining about certain issues pertaining to myself. If you don't like reading this kind of stuff, go to another website.

Still here? Okay. You've been warned.

Now, I was going to talk about an issue that deals with the community radio station I help out at. However, that issue has been cleared. I will now be able to watch my friends' play this Friday. I was also going to complain about my lack of employment; but, I don't want to sound like a broken record.

Issue 1 - Episode 33 of the Audio Circus has turned into a nightmare. Not only did it take me a long time to put the episode together but now, Odeo, the website that uploads the episodes, has been unable to properly upload #33. It keeps telling me that the file in invalid. It won't let me even upload other things as well. I spent most of my Sunday night, trying to get something that usually takes 20 minutes to work. My internet service is not that fast. I've wasted a lot of bandwidth.

This aggravation makes me question why I spend my Saturday and Sunday afternoon putting the show together. Sometimes, I just want stop doing the podcast and be rid of the stress it sometimes brings. But you see, I am my own worst enemy. I refuse to quit on things no matter how irritating they may become. It's one of my personal rules. I enjoy doing the Audio Circus. However, if uploading a simple episode becomes a daunting task, I'm going to have rethink this personal commitment.

Issue 2 - Some (but not all) of my friends, are way too uptight. Being with my friends allows me to relax. It allows me to forget about any troubles I have. The best part of hanging out with my friends, is that it's the only time when I feel safe enough to let my guard down. It's the only time where I don't have to think about what I want to say. It's the only time where I don't have to prepare a script.

When I'm with my friends, I like to joke around, I like to have fun, and I like to "goof off." It's my way of relaxing. It's my way of dealing with stress. However, when I joke around, have fun and goof off, some (but not all) of my friends get so worked up. Every time I open my mouth, they act as if I'm bringing them down to the lowest common denominator. GOD FORBID we take time out of taking life seriously, joke around and goof off! GOD FORBID we don't always act serious and mature when we're in the company of good friends!

It's starting to piss me off.

When you are with your friends, there's no need to act all serious and mature. You're not giving a university lecture. You're not at a bored meeting. You're not at a job interview. You're with your friends! It's okay to have fun with them. That's what friendship is all about. It's about providing everyone the opportunity to forget about serious issues and have a good time.

Look, if you don't like it when I relax (i.e.: joke around, have fun, goof off), then first off, I'm sorry. Second, if it bothers you, just ignore me or, take the rod out of your butt and for once in your life, chill out and relax.

Don't look down at me. Don't patronize me. Don't judge me. And, don't call me a dog and declare that I should eat chocolate cake out of a bowl, while all the civilized humans in the room, eat from plates and use forks. Hey, I love joking around and I don't mind getting zinged or burned; but that was flat out malicious. I would never say anything like that. Now, you're probably saying, "Come on, Hek. Whoever said that to you was probably just joking as well." Trust me, if you heard the tone in this person's voice, you would agree that it was malicious. I am very affected by a person's tone of voice. Be thankful I took the high road and kept my mouth shut. If this was ten years ago, there would've been psycho drama.

I refuse to stay silent so that certain friends can buy into this false conception that they're all sophisticated and high class.

*deep breath*

Okay. I feel a lot better now. I had to vent. It was eating me up inside. I vented. If you're reading this, thank you for letting me vent. It's time to move on.

The Hek



Blake said...

Well said, buddy! I actually enjoyed your frankness. I agree completely.

I'm the same way - I try not to take myself or others too seriously when I'm in hang-out/relaxation mode. There's nothing I dislike more than uptight blowhards who won't loosen up and try to have some fun when in an informal social situation.

While I might have been accused of that myself from time to time, let me just say that, over the years, I've gotten a lot better at letting my proverbial hair down (not literally, of course ;-) Don't mistake my wry & sardonic wit for condescension...

I just hope I was never one of those types who chastised you for relaxing & "goofing off" during your time at Carleton... If so, I apologize!

Eric Rosenhek said...

Blake, you were never one of those types that chastised me. If anything you are one of the most laid back, accepting, non-judgemental individulas I know. People should learn from you ;-)

Hope all is well. Thanks for the comment.