Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Cher - At The Oscars, 1986


Call me crazy, but I think she went a little heavy on the hairspray.

I think that's her hair.

The Hek


Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Cheney Is Armed?

It was quite the day for the Vice President.

Someone tried to assassinate him through a suicide bombing. Fortunately, the attempt was unsuccessful. Unfortunately, about 20 people lost their lives in the blast.

Take a look at this picture. Take a closer look at Dick Cheney's left foot.

Is it me, or is the Vice President wearing an ankle holster and possibly carrying a firearm? Maybe there was a wind when this photo was taken. However, you have to wonder.

The Hek

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Oscars Are Too Long!

No kidding, eh?

Seriously, three hours and forty-five minutes is way too long for an awards show. I felt it was dragging on by the end. The program could have easily been shaved down to three hours and possibly, two hours and thirty minutes.

Was it really necessary to have performances for every song nominated for Best Original Song? Did we really have to hear about the lives of screenwriters? Was there a point to "America On Film?"

Here's how I would schedule the Academy Awards:

There would only be presentations for the ten categories that receive the most coverage (Best Motion Picture, Best Lead Actor, Best Lead Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Original Song, Best Foreign Feature, Best Animated Feature). Then, include the Lifetime Achievement award, a vignette dedicated to those who passed away, and a performance of the song, that won the award for Best Original Song. Total time - Three hours, give or take a few minutes.

As for the remaining categories, they can be presented during a ceremony which, is aired over the internet or, on a channel that's affiliated with the host broadcaster. For example, the main show airs on ABC, while the other categories are shown on Disney Channel or ABC Family. This way, the casual fans don't have to sit through presentations they don't know about; and the enthusiasts, won't feel cheated.

Anyway, I am glad that Scorsese finally won an Oscar. The Departed is a great film, but not his best. It's certainly in the top five.

By the way, how can an awards show (using lots of electricity) "go green?" Were they using different light bulbs? Were the statuettes made of recycled scarp metal?

I'm just wondering.

The Hek

Friday, February 23, 2007

Welcome To The World Of Gentlemen, Gentlemen.

I have never been a big fan of car commercials but, I have to mention this one.

Talk about absurdity. It's like something out of a play that's written by Eugene Ionesco.

It's funny. It's memorable. However, it's not going to make me want to buy a Cadillac. And what does it say about Cadillac's take on gender equity? Heck, I didn't even know there was a world of gentlemen.

I wonder where I would go to sign up ;-)

The Hek

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Exploitation Double Feature

I have found another film, that I must see.

During last week's episode of Smackdown, a trailer for this movie was aired and suddenly, I was hooked.

It's called Grindhouse and features two of my favourite directors, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez.

The build for this feature is that it contains two full-length films. Up first, will be Rodriguez's Planet Terror and then, Tarantino's Death Proof. There will also be "fake trailers" at the beginning and middle of the entire presentation.

Needless to say, I intend to coarse my friends into watching this film with me. It's only fair since these same friends, will want me watch this animation/live action film with them. Unfortunately, the name escapes me. 349 or, something along those lines.

The Hek

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


What will happen on January 20th, 2009?

Is it:

a. A party for George Burns' 113th birthday
b. The NHL All-Star game
c. George W. Bush's last day in office
d. The Royal Rumble

If your answer is "C," congratulations! You are correct.

January 20th, 2009, will mark the day when Bush hands over power to the new President. In honour of this occasion, there is a website counting down the days, second by second.

I give you

The website describes itself as a "wake up call for those of us that are frustrated with President Bush and his administration." It provides a critique on Bush's term in office. But more importantly, the site has a store where you can buy all types of products, that bare the slogan, "01.20.09 - Bush's Last Day." Some of these products also come with an actual countdown clock.

No doubt, a perfect gift for all your left wing friends and family members.

The Hek

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Days Of Miracle And Wonder

Paul Simon's Graceland is an amazing album. I'd love to add all the songs to The Hek's Super Playlist. But, that wouldn't be fair. So I decided to pick my two favourites.

New entries are in red.

1. Kennedy Killed the Hat - Buck 65
2. I bought some books - Black Boot Trio
3. Watching the Wheels - John Lennon
4. Vacation - The Go-Go's
5. Like a Prayer - Madonna
6. Night Swimming - REM
7. Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
8. Ring, Ring - Abba
9. Call on Me - Eric Prydz
10. November Rain - Guns N Roses
11. Cruel Summer - Bannanarama
12. Hung up - Madonna
13. 463 - Buck 65
14. Judy is a Punk - The Ramones
15. The Laws have Changed - The New Pornographers
16. Portland, Oregon - Loretta Lynn feat. Jack White
17. Suzanne - Leonard Cohen
18. The Card Cheat - The Clash
19. Canadian Railroad Trilogy - Gordon Lightfoot
20. Boys in the Bright White Sports Car - Trooper
21. Mandy - Barry Manilow
22. Let's Get Together - Al Green
23. Mickey - Toni Basil
24. Bodies - Drowning Pool
25. Folson Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
26. Bawitaba - Kid Rock
27. Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne
28. City of New Orleans - Arlo Guthrie
29. Pump it - Black Eye Peas
30. Lonely Old Eyes - Neko Case
31. Immigrant Song - Led Zepplin
32. Philadelphia Freedom - Elton John
33. Don't Walk Away Eileen - Sam Roberts
34. Bring the Noise - Public Enemy & Anthrax
35. Maneater - Nelly Furtado
36. Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves - Cher
37. My Immortal - Evanescense
38. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
39. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns and Roses
40. Bad Habit - The Offspring
41. LDN - Lily Allen
42. Man I use to Be - K-OS
43. Lolipop - Aqua
44. Banquet - Bloc Party
45. The Sign - Ace of Base
46. Rise Above - Black Flag
47. Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
48. Thank God I'm a Country Boy - John Denver
49. Hello - Lionel Richie
50. River - Joni Mitchell
51. Romantic Rights - Death From Above 1979
52. Knock on Wood - Amy Stewart
53. My Heart Skips A Beat - Buck Owens
54. Levon - Elton John
55. Use It - The New Pornographers
56. The Boy In The Bubble - Paul Simon
57. Graceland - Paul Simon
58. Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac

The Hek

*Very Niiiice: Episode 30 of the Audio Circus*

Monday, February 19, 2007

A Free Flow Of Thought

I am unable to decide on a topic for today's post. So, I will be writing about a number of things. Here we go.

Mike Awesome has passed away at the age of 42. Part of WWE and WCW, Awesome will be remembered mostly for his work in the original ECW. A very dominant champion, he was part of many memorable feuds and matches with wrestlers such as Maesato Tanaka, Tazz, and Spike Dudley. He fought Tanaka at the One Night Stand PPV in 2005 and this was said to be the best match of the show. I had a chance to watch him live in September, 2001, when he took on Albert/A-Train. Rest in peace, Mr. Awesome.

Heads up to those who have Satellite Radio receivers. Sirius and XM are in the process of merging. No word yet on how this will affect certain channels or, if you will have to get a new receiver.

The Canadiens have done something they haven't done in awhile; they won a hockey game!

Good call on the Blue Jays for giving John Gibbons a contract extension. He has certainly earned it. Now, as long as none of the pitchers get hurt, we might make the playoffs.

Saw a pretty good film, over the weekend. It's a Spanish film called Talk To Her. Good choice if you have a significant other coming over.

Finally, Brittany Spears..........shaved head............not even going to go there.

The Hek

*Catch Episode Thirty of the Audio Circus*

Friday, February 16, 2007

0 For 11

I didn't forget. I just wasn't able to post this last week.


And now, the Maury Povich "You Are Not The Father" Moment Of The Week.

Preamble: The woman in this clip, had appeared in ten separate episodes. Each time, she accused a different man of being the father of her child. Each DNA test came back negative. Will the 11th time be the charm?

It's so horrible, it's funny.

The Hek

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Greatest Theme Ever

I never watched this show.

The only thing I remember about it, was the theme song.

Quite frankly, I think it's the best opening theme, when compared to all other well-known themes.

You be the judge.

The Hek

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Trump vs. McMahon

The biggest show in Wrestling is right around the corner.

Wrestlemania 23 will take place on April 1st from Detroit. Already, it seems that this year's edition will be a classic. Shawn Micheals will challenge John Cena for the WWE title, while Batista defends the World Title against The Undertaker, who is 15-0 at Wrestlemania. Those two matches will certainly receive a build up, over the next few weeks. However, there is also another match that is going to receive a lot of attention from outside the wrestling world.

Donald Trump will take on Vince McMahon in a "hair vs. hair" match.

At this point, I should point out that neither Trump nor McMahon will actually be wrestling (thank goodness). The billionaires will each select one wrestler to fight on their behalf. Whoever wins the match, will get to shave the loser's head in front of the entire world. In other words, if Trump wins, then Vinnie-Mac is leaving Detroit with a buzz cut; and if McMahon wins, then the Donald's world famous golden locks, will be GONE.

Right now, I would bet that Trump manages to keep his helmet hair in tact.

The Hek

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

You Can't Be Serious

I had the strangest dream last night.

I dreamt that there was this film coming out in a few weeks. It was about a farmer who use to work for NASA. He always wanted to fly to space; so, he built his very own rocket ship in his barn. Apparently, the government found out and tried to stop the farmer. However, the farmer was so determined to achieve his goal, that he risked everything and went ahead with his plans. Despite the government's constant interference, the farmer managed to blast off and become the first..........astronaut farmer.

Thank goodness that was just a dream.

I know movies are about suspending our beliefs. But honestly, who's going to buy into a film about a farmer who somehow manages to gather all the necessary parts needed for a rocket ship and is able to build it without any flaws? Besides, even if the farmer was successful, the launch would result in the entire farm being destroyed.

Fortunately, we all know Hollywood would never allow such a ridiculous film to be made, right?

Oh no....

I guess it wasn't a dream.

The Hek

*Before you fly off to space, check out Episode 29 of the Audio Circus*

Monday, February 12, 2007

One Word.....Beyoncé

I watched about five minutes of The Grammy Awards last night.

Had to see The Police. I was hoping they would either kick off the show with a bang; or, start fighting with each other. In the end, we got the former. It was a good performance and it was no surprise that they performed "Roxanne." Personally, I was hoping they would have done "Message In A Bottle" or "Walking On The Moon." I also watched the Red Hot Chili Peppers perform.

By the way, this is a message to Fergie: When you're reading something off a teleprompter, please pace yourself. Trust me, it will sound a whole lot better then stumbling on your words and making no sense. Definitely not Fergalicious.

Did anybody else watch the show?

The Hek

*Here's something Fergalicious: Episode 29 of the Audio Circus*

Friday, February 09, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith, 24/7, CNN

It was a bizarre end to a bizarre life.

However, I am not here to eulogize the life of Anna Nicole Smith. Instead, I wish to write about a certain media channel’s coverage, that I found to be a bit disturbing.

Most newspapers, television and radio stations, gave Smith’s death a respectful amount of coverage. You either had an 800-1000 word article or a standard 2-3 minute news piece. Say what you will about her, Anna Nicole still died, way before she should have. Whether you agreed with her actions or not, she deserves a proper memorial. Most media outlets followed through on this. CNN, on the other hand, went way beyond what was necessary.

CNN gave extensive coverage on Smith’s death; and when I say extensive, I mean EXTENSIVE. Every image, every caption, every scroll bar, everything that was said, all focused on Anna Nicole. The last time CNN gave a story such wide and in-depth coverage, would be Hurricane Katrina. Anna Nicole's passing was the main story on The Situation Room. Wolf Blitzer was talking about Anna Nicole instead of the usual world and political issues that his show covers. If you never knew who she was and you watched CNN yesterday afternoon, you would think that Anna Nicole Smith was the President of the United States and she had just been assassinated. No disrespect to Smith or her family, but was all this “extensive” coverage from CNN, really necessary?

I would understand if this was the death of a much loved world leader or a head of state. But let’s face facts. She’s just a model and a reality-television star. On a scale of important figures, Anna Nicole is most likely to be in the middle then at the top. And what happens when another pop-culture figure passes away? Will he or she receive the same attention that was given to Anna Nicole?

What’s really sad was that it wasn’t a “slow news day.” There were events taking place in Israel, Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq and in the US. Each having more importance then giving an intense analysis to the untimely death of a celebrity.

Clearly, it would appear that CNN follows a bad set of priorities.

The Hek

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I Haiku You

waking up alone
makes me feel empty inside
and hungry as well

The Hek

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The Colonel Is Voting Republican

Although the next US election won't occur until November, 2008, a number of Presidential campaigns have already started. Those who are hoping to replace George W. Bush, include Barack Obama, Rudy Giuliani and Hillary Clinton. These three candidates are all hoping to make history.

If Obama wins, he will become the first African-American President. If Giuliani wins, he will become the first Italian-American President. And if Clinton wins, she'll become the first female President and the first First Lady to achieve such a feat.

However, it seems that Colonel Sanders is not supporting Ms. Clinton.

I smell a Liberal boycott.

Thanks to Blake for the picture.

The Hek

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Fill In The Blanks..........NOW!

1. Garth Turner's decision to join the Liberal party was a ______ idea.

2. The only person that can make a unibrow look good is _________.

3. My favourite TTC subway station is _________.

4. Facebook is _________ then Myspace.

5. The actions of Kim Nowak are __________.

6. Like a bridge over _______ waters.

7. The Chicago Bears lost Super Bowl XLI because of ____________.

8. The most talented member of the Jackson 5 was __________.

9. Jack Layton is a _________ leader.

10. I ______ snow.

Thanks for playing.

The Hek

*Now that you're done, why not kick back and listen to Episode 28 of the Audio Circus*

Monday, February 05, 2007

Here's To You, Tony Dungy

Congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts.

At first, it appeared that their nerves were getting the best of them. You had the kick off return by Chicago. Then, the Colts received two false start penalties, followed by Payton Manning throwing an interception. It also started to rain which I figured would favour the Bears since they're use to playing in Soldier Field, which experiences all types of crazy weather, whereas the Colts play more games in an indoor stadium. But, Indy settled down and took charge when it mattered the most. The defence was clutch, especially in the 4th quarter, when the Colts forced Chicago's Rex Grossman to throw two interceptions. One of which was returned for a touchdown and in my opinion, was the moment that solidified Indy's victory.

If there is one person on the Colts that I am really happy for, it's their head coach, Tony Dungy.

Dungy is one of the most respected coaches in the National Football League. This admiration is not only for his work on the field, but also for his work off the field. Unlike other coaches in the NFL and other professional sports leagues, he is very respectful to his players and doesn't raise his voice or go on a power trip.

Fourteen months ago, Dungy was probably at the top of his game, when tragedy struck his family.

Three days before Christmas, Dungy's 18-year-old son, James, died of a drug overdose. A preliminary coroner's report showed that James had committed suicide. The death was devastating to Dungy, his family, and the Colts.

At the time, the Colts were having a phenomenal season. They went an impressive 13-0 before finishing the 2005 campaign with a record of 14-2. Many had picked Indy to win the Super Bowl. However, James' death clearly affected the Colts, who seemed to lack the desire and energy they showed for most of the season. They ended up being eliminated by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the playoffs. Nobody could blame Tony Dungy if he wasn't focused on winning. The fact that he was able to return to the sidelines, just a couple of weeks after burying his son, was something no one was expecting.

One could only imagine the pain Dungy was and probably still is feeling. The worst thing for any parent is outliving a son or a daughter. I hope I never have to go through that. I pray that it never happens to any of my friends or family. You have to appreciate how Dungy was able to come back this season despite carrying such a heavy burden.

The Colts were not as impressive as they were in 2005. They went 12-4 and failed to earn a bye to the second round of the playoffs, as they had done in the previous year. However, they managed to fight their way to the championship. Many teams are not be able to hold on, when it appears that any chance of winning would end up unfulfilled. I believe the Colts were able to win because of the strength and leadership provided by Dungy. He is not only their head coach but also an inspiration and a metaphor for overcoming your deepest sorrow.

Of course, winning the Super Bowl will not bring back his son. However, it will help ease the pain, just a little bit.

Here's to you, Tony Dungy.

The Hek

*Catch Episode 28 of the Audio Circus*

Friday, February 02, 2007

Super Sunday

After much thought and analysis, I have decided to endorse the Indianapolis Colts. I am predicting that Payton Manning will lead the Colts to victory and be crowned the champions of Super Bowl XLI. My apologies to all those who are supporting the Chicago Bears.

For those who will be watching the Super Bowl for the festivities rather then the actual game, here is some important information: (1.) Gloria Estefan will be performing during the "pre-game" show. Usually, a Super Bowl pre-game show starts at 1:oo and goes until 6:00, so be sure to check CBS's schedule to find out the exact time of when Ms. Estefan goes on. (2.) Billy Joel will be singing the national anthem. (3.) Prince will be the main act for the half-time show. I'm really excited for this. As long as he sticks with his tunes from the 1980's and stays away from any of the new stuff, the show will be off the charts.

Enjoy the game.

And now, the Maury Povich "You Are Not The Father" moment of the week:

Like I said, this is so horrible, it's funny.

The Hek

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Panic In Boston

You've probably heard about what happened in Boston, yesterday afternoon.

Parts of the city were shut down due to the discovery of multiple unknown objects that were thought to be bombs. The objects were actually lightboards featuring a portrait of "Err," a character from the adult program, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Needless to say, when a major American metropolis discovers weird electronic devices placed all around the city, their first thought isn't an elaborate ad for a television show. It's sad, but such are the times we live in. Needless to say, the two men responsible for the advertisements are in big trouble. One of them also needs a haircut very badly. But, that's just my opinion.

The only reason why I want to bring this up, is because I love Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It's an awesome show. In fact, there's going to be a film released later this year. This can mean only one thing: The Hek has found his must-see film of the year.

For the last few years, I have chosen a movie that is so cheesy, I must see it despite it's lack of critical acclaim. In 2005 it was Dukes of Hazzard while Snakes On A Plane, represented my 2006 choice. Both films were equally enjoyable. I hope the same can said in 2007 for Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theatres.

Yes, that's apparently the title for the film. Yes, someone or a group of people I know, will be dragged to this film.

The Hek