Don't forget to tune into the Wednesday Morning Special Blend. We'll be talking about a lot of things including the World Cup of Hockey and the NHL labor dispute.

7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Wow, I cannot believe it!

Strong Bad did an e-mail segment that pays homage to Piper's Pit. Now there are two characters that should run some sort of rouge nation, Roddy Piper and Strong Bad.

I really hate the month of September. I always have. I don't like it because its the start of an unknown trail. Apologies to anyone who like this month.

The Hek

4 hours of Carleton Ravens Baseball + 3 hours of World Cup Hockey = one tired Hek

The Hek

Yesterday, it rained like never before. It seemed that Ottawa got the tail end of the hurricane that hit Florida earlier in the week. Literally, there was a three foot lake outside my window. The building I live in could not handle the rain. The first floor got completely flooded and all the residents who live there, had to be shipped off to a hotel. My room had two puddles appear near my computer. So, there's a garbage bag over my computer. It's like a condom. Fortunately, it is drying nicely. Stupid Smarch weather.

The Hek

Here is another great e-mail sent to me:

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's 2003 winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops brioght ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit }
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly 15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

The Hek

Now that I am back in Ottawa, it is time to head back to the Blend.

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, Noel, James and I will catch up on lost time and discuss all the crazy happenings in the world. Plus we'll have music news, sports recaps and my favorite, Bytowne Movie Listings.

Tune in: Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Today I learnt the true meaning of Labour day.

It all started after lunch. I needed some dairy products as well as some wall tacs. The best place to get these things would be the Billings Bridge Shopping mall. As someone who needs some exercise, I chose to walk to the mall. The walk was a good 25 minutes and I was exhausted. However, when I came to the front entrance, I discovered that the entire mall was closed for Labour day. It was then that I said something along the lines of "Mother F**ker." So, I turned around and walked all the way back to my home. I did happen to stop along the way at a 7-11 and was able to pick up some of my groceries. Nevertheless, I intend to go back to the mall and pick up the remainder of my shopping list. And, I do intend to take the bus which leads me to my next point.

I went to go by a sheet of ten bus tickets and discovered that the good people at Ottawa-Carleton transportation (OC Transpo) had raised the price for a sheet of tickets from $8.50 to $9.00. That is an OUTRAGE!

There were some bright spots to this day. I got to see Tim before he goes to England and I had lunch with my friend, Jen.

The Hek

The Hek has arrived safe and sound in Ottawa. It was a quick trip and the moving in went perfectly well. More to come later.

The Hek

Time to head back to Ottawa. Thanks for a great summer!

The Hek

NO TIM NO!!!!

I got my G license on July 22, 2004. I was just making a comment about how life flies by sometimes. But as Vincent says in the movie Collateral, "You have to improvise." Now I'm not sure if that made any sense but I put the quote in because I saw the movie and thought it was really cool.

The Hek

When I got my G1 license in September, 1999, the expiry date read August 26, 2004. I never thought that day would actually come. And now, it has come and gone.

The Hek

Ingrown Toe: check
Two cavities: check

Now, I saw that this website provides a comment board. I have added it so, if you see two "comments" links up, go to the new one. The Hek is confident that it will work.

The Hek

And now, two fortunes from two fortune cookies devoured by The Hek and Emily.

The Hek's fortune: Your musical talents will soon be noted.

The Hek's other fortune: Success depends upon hard work.

Discuss...

The Hek

Camp Capers 2004: Done and Done!!

The Hek

MOTHER F**KER!!!!

So yesterday I went to the doctor to have my ingrown toenail taken care of. I sat in the office and time went by like the time it takes a turtle to walk from Toronto to Ottawa. Finally, the doctor comes in with a sheepish look on his face:

"Hi The Hek, I'm really sorry but it looks like I have run out of the freezing that I need for your toe. We will have to rebook the appointment."

To be fair, The Hek's doctor did look around for the freezing medication. He went to other doctor's offices and even ran to the pharmacy downstairs.

What a lousy time to run out of freezing. To make things worse, one of my campers stepped on the bad toe and it hurt like hell.

Well, the way I should see it is that it is a blessing in disguise.

The Hek

This is another e-mail that was sent to me:

Owed Two a Spell Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea; It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong or write, it shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is made it nose bee fore two long. And eye can put the error rite, it's rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it and I'm shore your pleased two no It's letter perfect awl the weigh, My chequer tolled me sew.

The Hek

Check it out, folks. The Hek has got only one more week of camp.

In other news, the doctor is going to cut my nail on both sides of the toe. FUN!

The Hek

I am going to be completely honest with you people. Ingrown toe-nails are very,very painful. I have a bad feeling that I am going to be operated on. This adds to the two cavities that need to be taken care of. FUUUUUN!

To all my readers in North Carolina:

If any of you come across a pretty Canadian girl named Emily. Please tell her that The Hek misses her very much and can't wait to see her again.

The Hek

This was sent to me through e-mail:

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade, in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!


Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

----------------------------------------------------

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but his commandos made it.

---------------------------------------------------

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.

----------------------------------------------------

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

----------------------------------------------------

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

----------------------------------------------------

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.

----------------------------------------------------

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."

----------------------------------------------------

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.

----------------------------------------------------

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

----------------------------------------------------

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

----------------------------------------------------

Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

----------------------------------------------------

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

---------------------------------------------------

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

----------------------------------------------------

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.

--------------------------------------------------

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

----------------------------------------------------

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

----------------------------------------------------

On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

----------------------------------------------------

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

----------------------------------------------------

Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Bethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

---------------------------------------------------

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

---------------------------------------------------

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.

----------------------------------------------------

Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.

----------------------------------------------------

Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.

----------------------------------------------------

Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.

The Hek

****THE HEK****

Dancing with the devil in the pale blue light since 1983.

Happy Simcoe Day

The Hek

Mr. Wood,

I read your comment.

About time you got rid of that spyware.

You were missing all the good stuff.

Benoit vs. HHH Iron man match was off the charts. Go Eugene!

The Hek

I have to work on that comments board.

The Hek

G license? Got it. The Hek is now a fully licensed driver. So watch out!
 
The Hek

Well camp continues to go well. Things have gotten a lot better since the problem child left. I feel more relaxed and less stressed out. Today is my buddy Mike's birthday. The Hek and friends got a Mike a gift. Wait a minute, Mike if you are reading this, STOP. Go to another site or something. The last thing I want is to spoil THE SURPRISE OF A LIFETIME!!!!
 
The Hek

Ha-Ha!
 
Good-bye problem child!
 
The Hek

Camp is going "well." Yeah that's it, "well."

The Hek

So here is what happened at the camp The Hek runs:

3 campers craped/peed in their pants. That's a new record.

1 Camper had a huge brawl with The Hek's boss and flipped everybody the bird. Yesterday the camper stuffed his mouth with grass and cut The Hek on the right hand. A little blood.

Tomorrow at The Hek's camp: Peter Peter Puppet Theatre!

The Hek

MOTHER F**KER!

Wait till you all hear what happened to The Hek today.

So there I was at the Drive Test Centre getting ready for my G2 Exit Road Test. After this test, I will be qualified to have a full license. I was all ready to go. I paid the fee, I parked my car in the testing centre and I filled out all the proper paper work. My examiner comes up to me and asks me to start the car so he can check to see if all the lights work. So I put the key in the ingnition and get NOTHING! Right then and there the car's battery DIES! It was gone, finished, kaput. Talk about horrible talking. Well, to make a long story short, a toe-truck driver gave it a boost so we could get it to a mechanic and now The Hek's car has a new alternater. As for the test, I now have to wait till October 14 to take it. That's going to be very hard because my current license expires August 26.

You know, sometimes I feel that a black cloud follows me wherever I go.

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!

Ferris Wheels with cars? Brilliant!

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!

Ferris Wheels with cars? Brilliant!

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!

Ferris Wheels with cars? Brilliant!

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!!!!

Ferris Wheels with cars.....Brilliant!

The Hek

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Hek's reaction when he discovered that CTV moved The Ultimate Love Test to an earlier time and missed the episode.

Does Tim know about this?

The Hek

"Your vacuum cleaner ate my pants. There was nothing I could do."

The Hek

It's amazing how time just flies by. I just don't understand it. Before I know it, I'll be old and wrinkly.

Another thing I have to put out of my mind.

The Hek

Ah, Canada.

If you don't like how things are going, you can always rely on people's sense of humor: Whack The Prime Minister.

The Hek

If anybody knows a trampoline centre that gives lessons to children for free, please let The Hek know.

In the coming weeks: The Hek's thoughts on the Canadian election.

The Hek

Well The Hek is back from Montreal. I had a fantastic time, the wedding was wonderful and the band was awesome. The band members were all Cubans, none of them were Jewish but, they knew all the Jewish songs and pronounced the words perfectly.

Back to the real world. Don't forget to watch The Ultimate Love Test tonight.

The Hek

Ever wondered what The Hek looked like?

Now you can thanks to Tim. Look at the entry for June 3, 2004.

I am back in Ottawa, heading for a wedding in Montreal.

The Hek

So television has taken all morals and values and thrown it out the window. It's a brand new show called The Ultimate Love Test. Couples are split up, one goes to a travel resort, the other stays home. The producers purposely give the people that are at the resort new possible, tempting love interests. They then tape all the escapades and send to the significant others who are at home. Emotions ensue, and in the end, nobody is happy. Whatever happened to trust and love? Why is it being toyed with? It's so bad, but it is so compelling, I can't stop watching it.

The Hek

I think Pierre Trudeau said it best: Despite all its shams and corruption it is still a beautiful world. Strive to be happy.

The Hek

Hitler on Ice? Mel Brooks is a genius.

The Hek

Emily......Baseball.......Wrestling........Canadian Elections.......Simon please keep off the puns.........Greg Zaun for Kevin Cash.........Must film a movie tomorrow....The Cheat.



Thoughts on The Hek's mind.

The Hek

The new American Idol was crowned last night. Her name is Fantasia and she's got a dance called the bobo. The Hek thinks she has some talent but I am not too crazy about her voice. Kinda sounds like a cartoon character. But she will go far.

Okay, its time for The Hek's sophisticated survey of the month: is it better to be a pacifist or a non-pacifist?

The Hek

Have a happy and healthy Victoria/Memorial Day long Weekend.

Owen Hart, it has been 5 years since you left us. But we have not forgotten about you. RIP.

The Hek

Has this world gone completely insane? Innocent people being murdered in Iraq because they're American? Prisoners in Iraq, being tortured by American soldiers (so much for life, liberty and pursuit of happiness)? Police officers being stabbed to death by fucked up teenagers? The stuff in Israel? You know sometimes The Hek wonders if this world needs a good cleansing.

The Hek

Ah,the wonderful world of Canadian politics: Stephen Harper Said

The Hek

The Hek works with little children. Town of Markham Summer Camps. Yee-Haw!

The Hek

What? Blogger has a new setup? Great, just when I finally figured out how to use the last one. Well, at least the spell check is still up. BTW, I'm starting to hate my job. The Hek blames Boston Rob for this.

The Hek

So here I am once more in the library, trying to get my marks for two remaining courses. Still nothing and that has got The Hek worried.

Anyway, I was watching American Idol last night and it occurs me, Ryan Seacrest has to be one of the most polished personalities ever. Every time he moves, he sparkles. Ben Mulroney has not hit that level yet. I wonder if that's a good thing.

The Hek

Wow, library computers are really slow.

The Hek

Somewhere between Ottawa and Toronto, it hits you: Those were some fine eggs.

The Hek

First off, I watched Kill Bill, Volume 2 last night and The Hek thought it was awesome. Both volumes are works of art and true masterpieces. David Caradine who, plays Bill, did an Oscar winning performance.

Well its hard to believe, but I have finished my second year of university. It was certainly a year where I learnt a lot about myself. I had some high moments and I had some low times. However, in the end, if I was asked to do it again, I would do it and not change anything. Will The Hek have a similar experience in third year? Well, only time will tell. Until then, it is time for the summer.

As some of you may know, I do not have the internet at home. Therefore, these post will be less frequent. But I do encourage you to continue to read and check.

Have a good summer everybody.

The Hek

I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO YEARS DOWN, TWO MORE TO GO!

To celebrate, The Hek is going to watch Kill Bill, Volume 2.

"I want him to know, that I want him to know," said the angry bride.

The Hek

"The Cheat, get the man some soup."

Wow, one more exam to go. And then, the summer. It's amazing how life can be so slow and also fast at the same time.

The Hek

Tomorrow will be the last Wednesday Morning Special Blend before The Hek returns to Thornhill for the summer vacation. I will make some calls to the show during the summer and will return as a full time host in September. Tomorrow's show will be off the charts, I think. We will have a lot of good things.

Tune in: 7-8am EST. CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?

Jose Theodore is GOD. The Canadiens are immortal. Final score of Game 7, Montreal:2, Boston: 0. Now it is on to the next round against either Philadelphia or Tampa Bay. GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO!

Randy Orton vs. Cactus Jack was off the charts. It was definitely a "match of the year" candidate. Chris Beniot is still the champ!

PS: I hate stats.

The Hek

Anyone who says life is beautiful never studied for a stats exam.

Statistics: The tool of Satan.

In other news....

Ottawa Senators: 2
Toronto Maple Leafs: 1
Double OT

Nice day for a Game 7.

The Hek

I saw the best form of graffiti in the Carleton library today:

AIR SUPPLY RULES!


Now that's some good graffiti.

The Hek

Well it appears that Stone Cold Steve Austin has left the WWE again. Oh well, he was not doing anything significant.

Montreal:5, Boston:1 (BOS leads 3-2)

Toronto:2, Ottawa: 0 (TOR leads 3-2)

Both of these series will go seven games and The Hek is picking the Habs and Sens to take it. Does not look good for me right now. What are your predictions, dear reader?

The Hek

Wow, the school year is almost over.

The Hek

The Hek is indeed The King of Swing!

And let's not forget my status as a Legend Killer. Speaking of which, what an awesome main event on RAW this past Monday. 8-man tag match: Chris Benoit/Mick Foley/HBK/Shelton Benjamin vs. Evolution. Crowd was hot and there was never a boring moment.

Writing a three-hour exam on no sleep is not just a challenge. It is an act of survival.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Blend, Noel and I will be playing an interview with author Michael Kennedy who, has put together a selection of prose and short stories on hockey.

Tune in every Wednesday morning from 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

1 2 3 4!

Playoff Hockey is AWESOME!

Playoff Hockey's GREAT!

Playoff Hockey is AWESOME!

Playoff Hockey's GREAT!

But I'll never forget you, grrrrl.

(Montreal: 3, Boston: 2)

The Hek

Wow, this blog just went crazy-go nuts on me.

Okay feeling better. Actually, The Hek is feeling much better. Now all I need is for the Canadiens to beat Boston.

The Hek

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

The Hek is screwed. Thanks Carleton, thanks Michelle Martin and thanks to the exam scheduler. I'm so mad I can't even spell right.

The Hek

Just give me a chance to do a hip-hop dance. Just give me a chance to do a dance!

And now something for Passover:

As you know, every year or two, the queen of England receives a list of
candidates who merit being recognized as a knight. These men (and women)
are deemed to have done something for Queen and country.

Chiam, a Jew, was honored with this award. However, he noted that just
before being knighted, by being tapped on the shoulder with a sword, that a
few words in Latin were pronounced. Chiam was concerned, as he didn't
really know any Latin, and was most uncomfortable about receiving the
knighthood.

His friend offered some advice. "Don't worry, no one understands, just say
some words in Hebrew. They (Queen and company) don't understand Hebrew and
all will be OK."

The night of the ceremony, as the Queen took the sword and tapped him on
the shoulder, he began his reply, "Ma Nish Ta Nah, Ha Lila Ha Zeh, .....".
At the conclusion of this small response, the Queen turned to an aide and
asked "Why is this knight different from all other Knights?"

HAPPY PASSOVER

The Hek

Presenting an excellent stress reliever: Poke The Bunny

It's simple, all you have to do is poke the bunny and cool things happen.

Tomorrow my friends and I at the Carleton Improv Association will putting on a show from 124 Leeds House at Carleton University. If you're in Ottawa and want a good laugh, come on down.

The Hek

Want to know who will be playing at Ottawa's Tulip Festival?

Tune into the Wednesday Blend for full concert listings.

7-8AM EST

CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Anyone who says life is beautiful never took a stats class.

Statistics: the spawn of Satan.

The Hek

Okay, The Hek is in dire need for a Lenscrafters. Small little incident in road hockey. Long story short: Ball hits The Hek in the side of the head and now my glasses are awkward.

The Hek

Some Random Thoughts:

The problem with Russian history is that there is too much of it.

The Hek has learnt how to play chess, so watch out, Bobby Fischer.

The Hek does not want to go back to his job this summer.

The Randy Orton/Mick Foley feud was intense. But then, The Rock showed up and it kind of lost its steam. If I was booking Wrestlemania XX, The Hek would have made a match between Shawn Michaels and Rock. That would be awesome!

I am playing road hockey tomorrow.

Okay, I am done now. Have a good weekend.

The Hek

Winner of The Charlatan's "Most Consecutive Stories" award.

Bagel from Tim Horton's with cream cheese: $1.47

Pepsi at the Furgus Inn: $2.00

Bus tickets: $8.50

Being a Mass Communications student and going to the Journalism school's end of year party and eating all their food: Priceless.

The Hek

A good friend said this to me:

Certain things are not meant to be for a reason. Certain things are not meant to be because you're on the path to something better.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, we will be interviewing a representative from Carleton's Falun Gong Society. They are putting on a mock trial and charging Jiang Zemin with committing crimes against humanity. Should be interesting!!

7-8 AM EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

This Day In History

March 29, 1996

Seven years ago, I saw my first-ever professional basketball game. It was the Toronto Raptors taking on the Orlando Magic. This was when Orlando was an awesome team and still had Shaq. The final score was 126-86 for the Magic. The seats were bad and the Raptors stank.

Just like this season.

Nothing much has changed.

The Hek

New counter at the bottom? Maybe.....

The Hek must find the soundtrack to Hard Core Logo. It is the greatest Canadian film ever made.

The Hek

Last year, I was able to follow the exciting action of the National Lacrosse League mainly because the arena for the Ottawa Rebel was a ten minute walk from campus. However, over the summer the team folded so I have not been able to keep up with what is going on, which is a shame. Lacrosse is an awesome game to watch and most teams get good crowds. Anyway, the Toronto Rock are in first place, go Rock go!

The Hek

The Hek has just gone through a week of CRAZY GO NUTS activities and he needs a rest. Have a good weekend everybody.

The Hek

PS: Happy Birthday EM!

A Minnesota Winter

August 12th: Moved to our new home in Minnesota, Beautifull here. The northern woods are so majsetic. Can't hardly wait for snow. I love it here.

October 14th: Minnesota is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned colors-shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the country and saw some deer, They are so graceful...certainly they are the most beautiful animals on the earth. I really love it here.

November 11th: Dear season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. What a beautiful place.

December 12th: Snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looked like a postcard! We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight ( I WON ) ,and when the snow plow came by we got to shovel the driveway again, What a beautiful place. I love Minnesota.

December 14th: More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick to the driveway again. It's so great here.

December 19th: More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow.

December 22nd: More of the white shit fell last night, I have blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around curves and waits until i'm done shoveling the driveway, Asshole!!!

December 25th: Merry Fucking Christmas! More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they use salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.

December 27th: More white shit fell last night, Been inside for three days except for shoveling the driveway after that snow plow goes through. Can't go anywhere--the car's stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect 19" of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels of snow 19" is ?

December 28th: The fucking weatherman was wrong, We got 34" of that white shit this time. At this rate, it won't melt before summer, The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastaard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six-shovels already shoveling all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last shovel over his fucking head.

January 4th: Finally got out of the house today, Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damn deer ran in front of my car and I hit it. Did $3,000 damage to the car, Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

May 3rd: Took the car to the garage in town, would you believe the thing is rusting out from all that fucking salt they put all over thte road?

May 10th: Moved to Texas, I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that god-forsaken state of Minnesota !!!

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, Noel and I will be recapping the Budget. We will also have our music news, sports report, weather and all types of good wholesome fun. Tune in 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

Great. A service error just erased my blog for the day.

Congratulations to the Carleton university Ravens Men's Basketball team for winning their second straight national title.

The Hek.

Too bad about Belinda Stronach.

Superstar Billy Graham. Now there's someone who could lead the Conservatives.

Last year at this time, I spent Saturday night in the library doing research for a paper. Today, one year later, I did the exact same thing. Strange.

The Hek

The Hek was the fill-in Sports Editor at The Charlatan this week. The issue is out and it looks great! I had a lot of fun but I have to tell you, laying out is a bitch. If your in the Ottawa area, be sure to pick it up. It's got a lot of good stuff in it.

The Hek

The Hek loves poetry

A Robin's Song
By Shelly

As I awoke this morning
Sleepfull with a yawn
A robin perched upon my sill
To signal of the dawn
Oh lovely was it's message
How sweetly did it sing
It beconed me to rise and shine
With song and fluttered wing
So I arose so gently
To give it's song a lull
I gently closed the window
And crushed its fucking skull.

Nice

The Hek

Celebrating 21 years of The Hek

Cake? Cake sounds good.

The Hek

Celebrating 21 years of The Hek

Well I am off Montreal for an improv tournament. My friends and I at the Carleton Improv Association (CIA) will be taking on some of the best improv teams in Quebec. The CIA, however, is there to entertain. I'm sorry but if you look at improv and try to win instead of entertaining then, you turn improv into a sport. Which means that you enforce rules. But Improv has no rules and in the end it's not at all fun when you make it a sport.

Last year we went to this tournament and due to the actions of some of the CIA members we figured that the organizers would never invite us back. But, they have!
Get ready Montreal!!!!!!

The Hek

I need to put things on a list.

The Hek

Huge news from the world of wrestling!

BROCK LESNAR IS QUITTING THE WWE AFTER WRESTLEMANIA 20

This is quite horrible because he was one of the rising stars. His rise comes at a crucial time when the WWE badly needs to make new stars. Brock Lesnar also represents the future of the WWE. Ten years from now, there will be no Rock, no Stone Cold, no HHH, no Ric Flair. Ten years from now it will be John Cena, Randy Orton, Batista, Paul London, Charlie Hass, Shelton Benjamin and Brock Lesnar. Well, not anymore I guess.

As you can tell, The Hek is quite outraged by this announcement and pissed as well.

The Hek

Oh, what a crazy day in the NHL.

Don't forget to tune into the Wednesday Morning Special Blend. Not sure what we're doing but, I am sure it will be fine and dandy like apple candy.

7-8AM EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Attention celebrities! Are you looking for a place to get your precious mail delivered? Then look no further then THE CIRCUS OF THE DAMNED!

The circus of the damned takes all types of celebrities from Joan Rivers to that kid from the Partridge Family. And you can always expect top quality service...........Or, a girl all dressed in black who will probably dance on your grave when you chose to leave this mortal world.

So act now before its too late!

This public service announcement was brought to you by The Hek.

If ya smell what The Hek is cookin'

- I really wish she would remember who the hockey player was.

The Hek

The Hek is not a big fan of Sunday. But at least I am no longer sick. On a side note, convenience stores are suppose to be convenient. But none of them sell Q-TIPS!!

The Hek

Everybody Loves The HEKstar Runner!!!!

This cough is getting on my nerves.

The Hek

Carleton Ravens: 62
Ottawa Gee-Gees: 61

One second.

One second could have made all the difference.


Sunday: Fever
Monday: Stuffed
Tuesday: Sore throat and nasty cough
Wed: Loss of voice
Thursday: Ear infection
Friday: Sweating too excessively

Have a good weekend everyone.

The Hek

All Hek, all the time. Nothing but the best!

Sunday: Fever
Monday: Completely stuffed
Tuesday: Sore throat and nasty cough
Wednesday: Loss of voice
Thursday: Ear infection
Friday: TBA

When the Hek gets the flu, he makes sure that he covers all the bases. Stupid flu.

Try doing a one hour radio show with a hoarse and rasp voice. It is not fun, believe me.

The Hek

The Hek needs a doctor. The Hek needs a doctor.

"Doctor, my right ear is completely blocked. I can not hear for shit. It's Frosh Week 2002 all over again. Good doctor, GET THE PUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Hek

The Hek is back up to 80% and plans to be at 100% by tomorrow!

Speaking about tomorrow....

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Blend, Noel and I will have the Razzie results, the results from Super Tuesday and all types of Tom Foolery.

Tune in, 7-8AM EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

What a shitty, shitty day. I basically stayed in bed all day and ate little. Fortunately, I feel my flu symptoms to be wearing off but I am drained. Stupid flu. I had to skip my classes and I never do that. I cannot afford to miss those. And what really bugs me is the fact that I'm not doing anything and I am sweating like a porn star. Stupid, stupid flu.

Well the oscars were held last night. I was extremely happy to see Denys Arcand pick up the award for best foreign film for The Barbarian Invasions. I've seen Jesus de Montréal and enjoyed it. I recommend his films to everybody.

But now the big news: There's a new episode of Teen Girl Squad!!!!!

Cheerleader

So and So

What's her face

The Ugly One

Did I mention that I hate this flu?

The Hek