Sweat Pants

It's too bad we live in a society where clothing plays a major role in describing who we are. If it were up to me, I'd wear sweat pants all the time.

Sweat pants are fantastic. When I was kid, I would wear them 24/7. It wasn't until high school that I started to dress in jeans and khakis. It's a shame because they were so comfortable. You could go anywhere, and they wouldn't give you any trouble.

Now, I have heard some say that sweat pants is a "sign that you have given up trying to attract women." Well I say that is just jibba-jabber. There is nothing wrong with wearing sweat pants. Hell, if I'm dumb enough to get married, I think I'm going to wear a pair of sweats to my wedding.

So tonight, as you go around collecting/eating lots and lots candy, take a moment and think about the wonders of sweat pants.

Sweat pants: nature's way of making life so damn comfortable.

The Hek

-After the tricks and treats, catch Episode 16 of the Audio Circus-

He Really Wants To Drive a Bus

A 15-year-old boy in Florida, steals a bus.

He drives the normal routes, picks up passengers and collects fare.

He was arrested and charged.

How does a 15-year-old boy manage to steal a bus and then actually pretend to be a bus driver? Better yet, how is it that passengers get on the bus and not notice that their driver is a 15-year-old boy? Granted, one passenger did find it suspicious and called police.

Now, maybe the boy looked older then he was. Then again, maybe he is the same boy that drove Indiana Jones around in Temple of Doom.

Okay, that's a bit of a stretch but still, you can't help but speculate.

One thing is for sure: this boy wants to be a bus driver when he grows up. I've seen children pretend to be doctors, hockey players and cooks. They grow up and actually become, doctors, hockey players and cooks. Of course, now the boy has to wait a few years before he's allowed to go near a bus.

The Hek

-Check out Episode Sixteen of The Audio Circus for The Hek's final thoughts on the World Series-

I Think He's Got A Frog In His Throat

For your listening pleasure, a small clip that shows the excitement of live radio.

Trust me, battling a cold and trying to do a newscast, can yield some interesting results.

Click here for the clip (runtime: 50 seconds).

PS: I have fully gotten over the cold. Now if only I could get rid of this cough.

The Hek

Comin' From Bounty Land

Time to add more tunes to The Hek's Super Playlist.

You know the drill. New entries are in red.

1. Kennedy Killed the Hat - Buck 65
2. I bought some books - Black Boot Trio
3. Watching the Wheels - John Lennon
4. Vacation - The Go-Go's
5. Like a Prayer - Madonna
6. Night Swimming - REM
7. Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
8. Ring, Ring - Abba
9. Call on Me - Eric Prydz
10. November Rain - Guns N Roses
11. Cruel Summer - Bannanarama
12. Hung up - Madonna
13. 463 - Buck 65
14. Judy is a Punk - The Ramones
15. The Laws have Changed - The New Pornographers
16. Portland, Oregon - Loretta Lynn feat. Jack White
17. Suzanne - Leonard Cohen
18. The Card Cheat - The Clash
19. Canadian Railroad Trilogy - Gordon Lightfoot
20. Boys in the Bright White Sports Car - Trooper
21. Mandy - Barry Manilow
22. Let's Get Together - Al Green
23. Mickey - Toni Basil
24. Bodies - Drowning Pool
25. Folson Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
26. Bawitaba - Kid Rock
27. Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne
28. City of New Orleans - Arlo Guthrie
29. Pump it - Black Eye Peas
30. Lonley Old Eyes - Neko Case
31. Immigrant Song - Led Zepplin
32. Philadelphia Freedom - Elton John
33. Don't Walk Away Eileen - Sam Roberts
34. Bring the Noise - Public Enemy & Anthrax
35. Maneater - Nelly Furtado
36. Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves - Cher
37. My Immortal - Evanescense
38. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
39. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns and Roses
40. Bad Habit - The Offspring
41. LDN - Lily Allen
42. Man I use to Be - K-OS
43. Lollipop - Aqua
44. Banquet - Bloc Party

Most of these songs are on YouTube, if you ever wanted to check them out.

The Hek

Tuesday Night Fever

AW MAN!

Remember on the weekend how I said my voice was a bit off. Well, guess what. It developed into a cold with a slight fever. Fortunately, it's not as bad as the fever I had way back in May. Also, I only get the fever at night so, it doesn't affect me during the day.

Like most people, I get the flu at the worst times. In fact, here are my top five unfortunate moments, when the flu made my life miserable.

5. October, 1994. It's Halloween and while everyone is trick or treating, The Hek is grounded with the chicken pox. I didn't know what was worse; the fever the led to the pox or, how itchy those little $#&@ers were.

4. March, 2005. It was one of those moments when your head is boiling and your body is freezing. The only time I left my apartment was for an improv practice. Now, you're probably wondering why I would take part in a practice with a 103 degree fever. Simple. I would have gone insane if I didn't get out. The only positive was that I had my radio as a companion and some brilliant DJ on CKCU was playing a record of "Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy."

3. December, 1999 and December, 2001. The good old holiday break. Two weeks where you don't have to worry about school. It's a time when one goes and has fun with his friends in the snow. Not for The Hek who was sidelined for a good portion of the break. Serves me right for working with the "customers" at my paying job for a couple of days.

2. September, 2002. It's Frosh Week and suddenly during the Bif Naked concert, I start to get that "feeling." The next day was 28'C and yet, I was forced to wear a jacket, touque and gloves. That's how bad it was. Talk about making a first impression. Good thing most people on the floor didn't judge a book by it's cover.

And NUMBER 1. July, 1990. Three days after my father purchases a brand new car, a 7-year-old The Hek is in the passenger seat and gets that horrible feeling in his stomach. I don't need to go into detail because, I'm sure you pretty much get the picture.

The Hek

- Whether you're sick or in good health, check out Episode 15 of The Audio Circus Podcast -

Time Stands Still

I need to learn how to relax more.

For some reason, I keep setting these schedules for myself. These schedules are totally not necessary but for some reason, if I don't follow them, I get stressed out. Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

On Sundays, I have to be up by 9am. Then, I have to leave for the gym at 9:30. I have to finish my work out by 11:30. I have to return home, eat something, shower, shave and start working on my podcast by 1pm. Then, I need to finish putting together my podcast by suppertime.

This past Sunday, I got all flustered because I woke up 9:30am, got to the gym at 10:20, started working on the podcast at 2:30 and released it at 5:30pm.

I needed to give myself a good punch in the face.

I have to keep reminding myself that it's Sunday and that I'm not on any deadlines. I can release a new episode of my podcast at any time as long as it's done before the clock strikes midnight. However, I keep trying to follow this dumb schedule which in turn, turns Sunday into a nuisance instead of a nice, relaxing day.

I've always been guilty of this. I don't know why this is; it's just that I like a little control in my life. Nothing wrong with living the day by just taking it as it is. It's just that I would prefer to have a frame so I know what can happen, what is unlikely to happen and, have a spot for unexpected moments.

Well, something to work on, I guess.

The Hek

- Be sure to catch Episode Fifthteen of The Audio Circus -

MLB Predictions - Part Three

Let's review,

Detroit vs. Oakland
Hek's Prediction: Detroit wins, four games to three.
What really happened: Detroit sweeps the series.

New York vs. St. Louis
Hek's Prediction: New York wins, four games to two.
What really happened: St. Louis wins, four games to three.

At least I was right about Detroit......sort of.

To be honest, I can't explain the Tigers. Beating the Twins and Athletics, was a piece of cake. Not bad for a team that looked like it ran out of gas when the playoffs started. As for St. Louis, the Cardinals have proven that everything that happens in the regular season, goes out the window for the post-season. What's really aggravating about St. Louis, is that they only won 83 games and yet still managed to take the NL Central title. To put it in context, the Blue Jays won 88 games and that, wasn't enough to win the AL East or the Wild Card. On to the Fall Classic:

The World Series

Detroit Tigers vs. St. Louis Cardinals

The Cards have the hitting and their pitchers are good, but not great. The Tigers, on the other hand, also have the hitting and a phenomenal group of pitchers. The matter which will be most interesting is to see if Detroit can play the same way they did during the first two rounds. Remember, the Tigers won the ALCS last week and have not played since October 14th. Meanwhile, the Cards won the NLCS yesterday and only have today off before starting the World Series. So it will be interesting to see if Detroit has any rust after being off for a week. Personally, I think the Tigers will not be affected by the rest. They have played some great baseball and the week off only allows them to prepare. Plus it gives them time to rest any injuries that may have occurred.

Hek's Prediction: Tigers win, four games to two.

The Hek

You've Been Punk'd! Clinton style.

Ashton Kucher will not be sending Bill Clinton a holiday greeting, this year.

It seems as though Kucher and his wife, Demi Moore, were at a function and sat with the former President. Clinton spent the entire evening chatting it up with Demi, while completely ignoring Ashton. Needless to say, Kelso was very pissed off.

Correct me if I'm wrong. But hasn't something like this happened before to Demi? I seem to recall a time when she was married to Woody Harrelson and during a game of pool, Robert Redford came over and started talking to her. Redford was so enthralled with her, he proposed something to Woody that was rather indecent.

Now Ashton, I can totally understand if you're upset about this. But dude, let me tell you something: Let is slide.

This isn't some regular Joe who you can punch in the face and tell him to leave your woman alone. Hell, it's not even Colin Farrel. It's a former President of the most power nation in the world. You can't just go up to him and say, "If I see you make a move on my wife, one more time, I'm going to break you in half."

Listen, if a former President makes a move on your women, you let him do it.

Why?

Because he was once THE PRESIDENT and if you lay even the smallest part of your pinky finger on him, you get gang tackled by 50 Secret Service Agents.

I know you want to be Demi Moore's Guardian; but remember, every person who becomes the President of the United Sates of America, is allowed to order three assassinations. Not every President uses them. But, they're there, just in case.

The Hek

Take My Wives......Please!

The Mets might lose tonight and I might have egg on my face, tomorrow. As I said before, the only way the Cardinals will win the NLCS is if they take advantage of New York's weak pitching staff. Of course, I figured this wouldn't happen and picked the Mets. We'll see what happens.

Now for your viewing pleasure, Henry Rollins on Polygamy.



The Hek

Your Thought of The Day

Yeah, nothing more enjoyable then seeing K-Fed getting FU'd on Monday Night RAW. I also bet that the Wild Boyz aren't feeling too good either after their "match." But now, on to your thought of the day:

If there are undercover police officers who disguise themselves as civilians, could there also be undercover civilians who disguise themselves as police officers? Think about it.

The Hek

While you're pondering that, you can check out Episode Fourteen of the Audio Circus podcast.

I Pity The Fool Who Thinks This is a Bad Idea

It was brought to my attention that plans are in the works for a feature film about The A-Team. This is the best news I have heard out of Hollywood in a long time. There have been rumors as to who will play the main characters and if it's the names that I have heard, you can bet that I will be seeing this movie on the day it's released.

This reminds of when Dukes of Hazzard was released as a film. I couldn't care how cheesy it would be, I had to see it and it was worth every penny.

In the meantime, here is The Hek's choice of who should be in the A-Team movie. Some of the names have already been mentioned in the rumor mill.

B.A. - Ving Rhimes
Hannibal - Mel Gibson
Face - Charlie Sheen
Murdock - Jim Carrey


I can't wait.

The Hek

- Catch Episode Fourteen of The Audio Circus -

FREE IMPROV COMEDY SHOW

If you're in Ottawa this weekend, be sure to check out this:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Oct 9^th, 2006

Get ready for some hilarious fun!

The Carleton Improv Association (CIA) is performing another exciting and hysterical show as it performs its debut show for the 2006-2007 season.

Come see the CIA
Saturday, Oct 14^th, 2006
Doors open at 7:00pm, show starts at 7:30pm
Mike's Place - 2nd Floor University Centre
at Carleton University


FREE ADMISSION

Come watch the CIA perform games in the style of
Whose Line is it Anyway?

It is an interactive show so come ready to shout out suggestions!

For more information contact us at carleton.improv@gmail.com

We hope to see you at the show!

CIA - Carleton Improv Association

Carleton University's Official Comedy Troupe Since 1999
carleton.improv@gmail.com

***

Now if you excuse me, I have to put on a giant bear costume and run around the arena during tonight's Markham Waxers game. Yes, you're reading correctly.

The Hek

This Entry Is Brought To You By....

I need money.

Ideally, the money would come from a job in broadcasting. It would be enough for me to move out of my parents house and resume the independence and growth I had in Ottawa. Unfortunately, this plan is not working out as I hoped. I'm bringing in some but, it's not enough. However, I have come up with a way to make money as I continue the old job search:

Sponsorship and advertising!

Yes, you're reading correctly. I'm giving all major corporations out there the chance to sponsor my thoughts, feelings, movements and actions throughout the day. For a respectable fee, you can have your company's name mentioned in all my written entries. Best part of all is that no one will notice a difference in how I write. Just take a look at this sample entry:

The Hek's Timex Wake Up Call was at 6:15am, today. He rolled out of bed, thinking about how comfortable his sleep was, thanks in large part to the new Simmons Rest-Easy mattress. After assembling his wardrobe, provided by Roots, The Hek made his way to the kitchen. He enjoyed some toast and a healthy bowl of Cheerios which now, contains zero grams of sugar. Next stop, the bathroom where, The Hek brushed his teeth and remarked how great they look ever since he started using the Crest Whitestrips.

Throwing on his Addidas, The Hek went outside and headed to the bus stop. Fortunately, he didn't have to wait long as York Region Transit always provides convenient busses. Hey, they not only move The Hek but the entire York Region as well.

The Hek arrived at work with enough time to say hello to Johnny, the friendly service attendant at Esso. The work day was full exciting moments which The Hek captured on the new Nikon Digital camera. He also enjoyed a hearty lunch which included a delicious bowl of Tim Horton's chili.

Finally, the day came to an end and The Hek headed home excited, as he was going to watch the baseball game on his Panasonic High Definition television.

The Microsoft Current Mood: Happy

The Taco Bell Current Music: The new single from Canadian Idol winner, Eva Avila. Now available at HMV.

***
See what I mean. The change is so minimal, no one has any proof to call me a sell-out.

The Hek

MLB Predictions - Part Two

First off, I want to extend my deepest sympathies to the family of former Toronto Blue Jays' pitcher, Cory Lidle. Lidle, who was currently with the Yankees, was the pilot of a small aircraft that crashed into a New York condominium this afternoon. My thoughts also go out to the families of the other victims involved in the crash.

***
Here's a recap of my predictions for the four division series:

New York (AL) vs. Detroit
Hek's Prediction: Yankees win, three games to one.
What really happened: Tigers win, three games to one.

Minnesota vs. Oakland
Hek's Prediction: Twins win, three games to two.
What really happened: Athletics sweep the series.

St. Louis vs. San Diego
Hek's Prediction: Padres win, three games to two.
What really happened: Cardinals win, three games to one.

New York (NL) vs. Los Angeles
Hek's Prediction: Mets win, three games to one.
What really happened: Mets sweep the series.

Okay, not the best of results. But 25% ain't bad, right?

If anything, this year's post-season is a good reminder of how the regular season means nothing. Once the playoffs start, everything that went on during the past six months, goes out the window and everyone, starts with a clean slate. I never expected the Tigers to regroup. Nor did I expect the Athletics to manhandle the Twins. As for Cardinals, it didn't really matter who won because neither them nor the Padres would go past the second round. Having said that, here are my predictions for League Championship Series.

American League Championship Series

Detroit Tigers vs. Oakland Athletics

The Tigers have already drawn first blood but, don't count out the Athletics. Both teams are equally talented. Having seen them play like they did during most of the regular season, I am fully confident in Detroit's abilities. They have some good hitters in Ivan Rodriguez, Sean Casey (if he stays healthy) and Placido Planco. But their strength is with their pitching. The Tigers are led by veteran Kenny Rogers and two rookies who have put together solid seasons in Justin Verlander and Jeremy Bonderman. Plus, you can't forget Joel Zumaya and his 100 MPH fastball. However, if Detroit is going to win, they need to neutralize Oakland's power hitters. If you get intimidated by Frank Thomas, Milton Bradley or Eric Chavez, then the Athletics are going to walk all over their opponents, just like they did with Minnesota. No doubt, it's going to be a dogfight.

Hek's Prediction: Tigers win, four games to three.

National League Championship Series

New York Mets vs. St. Louis Cardinals

The Dodgers were easy to beat. The Cardinals however, will be a true test for the Mets. If New York wants to win, they need to get lots of runs because their pitching is suspect. With Pedro Martinez and Orlando Hernandez on the disabled list, Tom Glavine is their only star pitcher. Everyone else is sketchy. The Mets have the hitters and as long as they can take advantage of mistakes made by the Cards' picthers, they'll be able to win the series. It won't be a cakewalk but, you can expect New York to control the series.

Hek's Prediction: Mets win, four games to two.

As always, I love to hear your predictions.

The Hek

Google and YouTube, sitting in a tree...

I didn't get to my computer until 10:00pm. Originally, I was going to give my predictions for the ALCS and NLCS. However, I'm going to hold that off until Wednesday when I'm more alert.

In the meantime, here is probably the biggest story in "new media" for the year.



The Hek

-Check out Episode Thirteen of The Audio Circus-

I'm Thankful for Wikipedia

You've probably wondered about it.

Why do Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving day in October, and Americans, celebrate it in November?

Both countries have the exact same things. Turkey, stuffing, giving thanks, two football games, etc.

Now, most people know the origins of American Thanksgiving, but how did it start in Canada?

Well, the good people at Wikipedia have the answer:

Thanksgiving in Canada

In Canada, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October. The United States later set aside the same day as the federal holiday of Columbus Day. Canadians give thanks for a successful harvest. The roots of the Canadian holiday are different than those of the United States of America.

The history of Thanksgiving in Canada goes back to an English explorer, Martin Frobisher, who had been trying to find a northern passage to the Orient. He did not succeed but he did establish a settlement in Canada. In the year 1578, he held a formal ceremony, in what is now the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, to give thanks for surviving the long journey. This is considered the first Canadian Thanksgiving, and the first Thanksgiving to have taken place in North America. Other settlers arrived and continued these ceremonies. Frobisher was later knighted and had an inlet of the Atlantic Ocean in northern Canada named after him - Frobisher Bay.

At the same time, French settlers, having crossed the ocean and arrived in Canada with explorer Samuel de Champlain, also held huge feasts of thanks. They even formed 'The Order of Good Cheer' and gladly shared their food with their Native-Canadian neighbours.

After the Seven Years' War ended in 1763 handing over New France to the British, the citizens of Halifax held a special day of Thanksgiving.

During the American Revolution, American refugees who remained loyal (United Empire Loyalists) to Great Britain were exiled from the United States and came to Canada. They brought the customs and practices of the American Thanksgiving to Canada.

Eventually in 1879, the Canadian Parliament declared November 6th a day of Thanksgiving and a national holiday in Canada. Over the years many dates were used for Thanksgiving, the most popular being the third Monday in October. After World War I, both Armistice Day and Thanksgiving were celebrated on the Monday of the week in which November 11th occurred. Ten years later, in 1931, the two days became separate holidays, and Armistice Day was renamed Remembrance Day.

Finally, on January 31st, 1957, the Canadian Parliament proclaimed...

"A Day of General Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed ... to be observed on the 2nd Monday in October."

Now you know.

The Hek

-After Thanksgiving dinner, relax with Episode Thirteen of The Audio Circus-

Some Links You've Got To Check Out

For your long weekend/Thanksgiving enjoyment, here is some cool YouTube material.

First off, my friend Steve is in York University's Film program and has been posting his projects. If you like martial arts and insight on dreams, you definitely want to check out his page.

Second, my buddy Will from the Carleton Improv Association has been making some short films. The material brings me back to the good old days when my friends and I would make films just for the sake of having fun. The stuff Will has put together is intriguing and hilarious at the same time.

Steve's Page

Will's Page

Finally, here's a fun clip from CHEV. I like to call it Soberin' Up.

Happy Turkey Day

The Hek

Just A Reminder

You can catch The Hek trying to be a News Anchor, Monday to Friday, every 30 minutes from 9-12am on CHEV Radio. The show is also replayed from 8-11pm.

***

More importantly:

This week, we lost two more soldiers in Afghanistan. For me, this isn't about politics. It's about the brave men and women who risk their lives so that the world could be a better place. If possible, wear RED tomorrow to show your support. No one said it would be easy. But every little effort counts.

The Hek

Two Music Videos You Have to See

Kung-Fu, techno, rose coloured glasses, smart messages and, a girl with a thick middle class, English accent.

Combine all this and you've got two fantastic videos The Hek stumbled upon as he was taking part in the art of procrastination.

On to the videos.

First video: A mixture of techno, kung-fu, and one of Canada's top hip hop artists.

Second video: A catchy little tune, with a cute girl who gives us an interesting tour of London.

Enjoy

The Hek

MLB Predictions - Part One

The World Series playoffs are here. If you love drama, there is nothing better then baseball's postseason. Having said that, here are The Hek's predictions :

American League Division Series

New York Yankees (AL East Champs) vs. Detroit Tigers (AL Wild Card)

If you were to ask me a month ago who I thought was going to represent the American League in the World Series, I would have said the Tigers. Let's face it, Detroit has had a phenomenal year. However, they're not going to get past the Yankees. The Tigers have simply run out of gas (hence only getting the Wild Card) while the Yankees, with their sheer experience, get stronger as the season goes on.

Hek's Pick: Yankees win, 3 games to 1.

Minnesota Twins (AL Central Champs) vs. Oakland Athletics (AL West Champs)

Although the A's have taken game one in the series, the Twins are my pick. Minnesota has been on such a roll and baring a disastrous collapse, I can't see anyone knocking them off. Maybe it's the great play of Johan Santana and Canadian Justin Morneau; or, maybe the spirit of Kirby Puckett is guiding the team. Beating Oakland won't be easy though. The Athletics have Frank Thomas. He's big and he's mean. It's going to be a close one.

Hek's Pick: Twins win, 3 games to 2.

National League Division Series

St. Louis Cardinals (NL Central Champs) vs. San Diego Padres (NL West Champs)

The Cards won the first game this afternoon. Nevertheless, this series can go either way. It doesn't matter who wins. Neither team will be in the finals. St. Louis is falling apart and San Diego comes from the weakest division in the league.

Hek's pick: Padres win, 3 games to 2.

New York Mets (NL East Champs) vs. Los Angeles Dodgers (NL Wild Card)

The Mets have had a great season and have been my pick to represent the NL for quite some time. They won't walk all over the Dodgers but, will control most of the series. LA comes from the same weak division as the Padres. Also, New York has Carlos Delgado and Shawn Green. Two former Blue Jays who were great players and deserve their taste of playoff baseball.

Hek's pick: Mets win, 3 games to 1.

For the remainder of the playoffs:

League Championship Series
Minnesota over New York (AL)
New York (NL) over San Diego

World Series
Minnesota over New York (NL)

Love to hear your predictions!

The Hek

Be sure to catch Episode Twelve of the Audio Circus Podcast

Find Your Target

Here's a commercial for the X-Box 360:



Turns out, this advertisement was banned. Personally, I don't feel there's anything wrong with it. However, I can understand why it was not allowed to be aired; especially given recent events. So, is it harmless or, poor taste?

The Hek

-Catch Episode Twelve of The Audio Circus-