Friday, April 14, 2006

Some reflections.

In August, 2002, I was a scrawny, 19-year-old kid who lived in a very sheltered world; the metropolis of Thornhill. I was a camp supervisor and I was longing for companionship.

Coming to Carleton was a big step for me. In the last four years, I learnt what independence really means. I learnt what it was like to do my own shopping, do my own laundry and make decisions without any outside influences. I discovered just how beautiful the nation's capital is. I also figured out what I want to do with my life. I even had some companionship here and there. There have been so many wonderful memories. I feel I have really grown up in the last four years and it all started that faithful August day in 2002 when I made the big step. What I mean by this is that when a chapter of your life ends, you begin the next chapter by taking the big step in a world that was completely different and has much more attributes then the one you recently left.

Pre-school to elementary school was a big step; elementary to high school was a big step; and, high school to university was a big step. So naturally, I should be making another big step from Carleton to the real world where I can finally start to make something of myself.

However, I'm returning as a not-so-scrawny -anymore, 23-year-old adult, to the same sheltered world. I'm still working as a camp supervisor. I'm currently still looking for a little companionship.

Instead of making a big step, I have gone in a full-circle.

I blew it.

The Hek


Anonymous said...

The way I see it, we keep taking two steps forward and one step back. That's not blowing it, just moving forward a little slower than we'd like.

How can you say you've gone full circle? You've many times the person I knew in high school.

- Mr. Wood

Blake said...

By no means did you "blow it", my friend! You successfully completed university! You should be very proud of that; please don't try to marginalize that achievement. You've worked hard and you deserve any and all glory that goes with it. You yourself said that you gained a profound sense of independence and self-reliance during the past 4 years; being back in Thornhill will by no means erase that! In NO way are you a failure, my friend! Quite the opposite, in fact!

Indeed, it seems to me you should feel no shame in returning to Thornhill. You yourself told me it is most likely a temporary move; I assume that's still accurate, and that your ultimate goal remains to live and work outside of the GTA. In the short-term, though, staying in Thornhill to "regroup" career-wise, if you will, is a smart move. Get some more working experience, save up some'll be in a better position to tackle bigger challenges (work-related or otherwise) down the road.

Besides, you can't honestly expect to have this perfect, stellar, ideal career already lined up and waiting for you when you graduate; I know for a fact you're not that egotistical. Leaving university for the "real world" is a lot like leaving elementary school for high school: you're plummeting from the top of the pecking order right back down to the bottom once again. It's the way the world works - a law of nature, if you will. You just have to slowly and gradually climb your way back up again. There'll be a few bumps along the way, but I believe that you'll get there and "make it" in the end. Above all, never stop believing in yourself and your abilities. View what life throws at you as an opportunity, not a setback. Basically, keep your chin up, buddy, and keep on slogging through those proverbial trenches! Nil desperandum (Latin for "Don't despair!")

Here's another good Latin expression to remember:

Nil Illigitimi Carborundum!

(Don't let the bastards get you down!) :-)

Billy Ruffian said...

That's a load of crap Hek.

I don't ever recall getting checks from the CBC.

Anonymous said...

If I could have actually read your blog up until now, I would have called you... so you have no idea what you're going to do?