Thanks for the question, Steve.

It will be interesting to see how the two Williams pan out for the Raptors. I not familiar with their stats but, it seems they're good at rebounding which is something the Raptors need. As for Zo Mourning. I really don't know what he can do for the Raptors. He is way past his prime. I have a bad feeling that this is going to be just like when Hakeem played for the Raptors; a big name player, way past his prime, who did nothing but sat on the bench and get injured.

The Hek is heading back home for the holidays. I can't wait!!!!

The Hek

Be sure to tune into the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, tomorrow morning. It will be the last time The Hek will be on before his much deserved two week vacation. Noel and I will have all the usual Tom Foolery that is always expected. Think of it as the best show in the world to wake up to. It's like caffeine for the mind........poured into your ears.

Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

The Hek finished his first essay today. One down, one to go.

I am very pleased to find out the Corey Koske has signed a deal with the Blue Jays. What this means is that Koske will take third base and Eric Hinske will move to first base. The main question for the 2005 season is who is going to step up now that Delgado is gone.

That's all for now. Time to watch the "Fat Albert Christmas Special.'

The Hek

Yesterday The Hek slept for 13 hours straight. I woke up in the early afternoon and prepared to go to the library for some studying. As I left, I looked out the window and said to myself, "That's the only time today I am going to see sunlight." It starts to get darker earlier and earlier these days. Now, it is winter so, it is normal for that to happen. However, it is getting dark at 3pm; that is not normal. Maybe, the end is near.

The Hek

Don't forget to tune into another critically acclaiming episode of THE WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. This week Noel and I will once again bring our own unique look at the world.

Music News. Sports Recap. Entertainment Listings. Bytowne Listings. Plus much, more.

Wednesday 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Now, for your reading pleasure: The last 30 hours in The Hek's life!

Sunday, 9:00am: The Hek wakes up refreshed and ready to tackle his 15-20 page paper.

Sunday, 10:45am: The Hek begins to write.

Sunday, 1:00pm: three pages

Sunday, 4:00pm: six pages, The Hek decides to eat something.

Sunday, 7:00pm: nine pages

Sunday, 8:00pm: 10 pages, The Hek starts flipping out. Decides to take break. Watches WWE match with German commentators.

Sunday, 10:00pm: Break ends

Monday, 12:00am: 12 pages

Monday, 3:00am: 15 pages, The Hek slowly begins to lose compassion he may have had for his paper

Monday, 3:330am: The Hek begins to curse his existence.

Monday, 3:45am: The Hek snaps out of it.

Monday, 5:00am: The Hek finishes his paper. 18 pages. Not bad. Feels pretty good about himself. Prepares to go to bed. Fire alarm goes off in building. Bad timing.

Monday, 6:00am: The Hek finally gets to bed.

Monday, 8:30am: The Hek wakes up not refreshed.

Monday, 11:30am: Paper receives an edit

Monday, 1:00pm: English paper handed in

Monday, 6:oopm: The Hek makes corrections to the 15-20pager and hands it in.

Goodbye Fall Term

The Hek

Life is all about learining and experiencing. You do something, you learn from it. T'hat's it, that's all, baby goes to sleep.

I'd write more, but I'm hungover and lack my creative juices.

The Hek

Well, the snow has finally shown up. We are coverd in it. Meanwhile my foot has still not healed from my procedure in August. Looks like more meds for me. Fun.........

Wednesday Blend went really well. The first hour and 45 minutes flew by, then from 8:50 - 9:30 it started to feel like a 2.5 hour show. All in good fun.

The Hek

HUGE NEWS!!!!! FOR ONE DAY ONLY, THE WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND WILL BE 2.5 HOURS LONG!

This is going to be awesome, folks. Noel and I are pumped and ready to go. We are going to pull out all the stops. So, to everyone, with a computer or a radio, be sure to tune in. You will not be dissapointed.

Wednesday, 7-9:30 am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

It's time to party!!!!!

TODAY IS THE FIRST-YEAR ANIVERSARY OF THE HEK'S BLOG!!!!!!

Yes folks, it is hard to believe that it has been a year since I first started this thing. In one year, The Hek has gone through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and most of it was expressed right here. Thanks to all those who read this sucker for the last year.

Now for that nostalgic feeling, here's what the first blog looked like, November 28, 2003. Enjoy!

The Hek

Wanna know why The Hek is indeed a Legend Killer? It's the fact that on the day of my 10:35am class, I can wake up at 10:20, get dress and still be on time for the class. BOOYAH!

The Hek

The Hek is going solo tomorrow on the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. We’re going to have a really cool segment called “Sounds of a Calgary Grey Cup Breakfast.” Noel and I taped this last Friday at Ottawa City Hall during the Grey Cup festivities. It’s a really great segment so tune in. I’ll also have the usual craziness.

Wednesday, 7-8am EST, CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

There's only one thing left to say:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The Hek

My buddy Stephen has a new ride. He'll be going up and down the streets of Japan, crusin in his car and fellin like a star.

Unless Godzilla eats his car. That would suck. What would suck more is if Steph was in the car. However, Steph has a black belt in Kung-Fu. All he needs to do is kick and punch and the monster will get some hardcore indigestion.

The Hek

My buddy Tim rocks! He took time out of his busy day in ENGLAND to give The Hek a little telephone call. Sorry I was not there, Tim.

Tim goes to Carleton but for this year, he's studying abroad. She's a brunett, HIYAOOOO! Actually, he is part of an exchange program where he spends his thrid year studying in England. The cool thing is that he keeps a blog about all his adventures in merry old England. Check it out, it is good stuff.

Click here to go to Tim's blog


The Hek

Yep!

Nothing like handing in a paper you know is crap and then getting it back with a mark of A-.

The Hek

So there I was, enjoying a nice, peaceful nap; when suddenly, the damn fire alarm goes off. I hate fire alarms with a passion; especially if I know they are going to occur. Anyway, when the building emptied, we were all told that we took too long. Apparently, we are suppose all leave the building in 15 minutes. According to the fire alarm testers we took 25 minutes to evacuate the entire building. So, we have to have another drill…fun. Trust me, if there was a real fire, we all would have been out of the building in 5minutes.

Oh, for anyone that cares: Brent Butt didn’t call the show. There was some sort of mix up. Noel and I hope to have him on the Blend in the near future.

The Hek

Brent Butt will be on the next Wednesday Blend! He's suppose to call in; so everyone, cross your fingers.

Tune in, Wednesday 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Thanks to everyone who came out to the show last night. The show went well and we had an excellent turnout. When good fortune like this occurs it gives me a sense that everything will always turn out alright. I have a lot on my plate for the upcoming weeks. There's my midterm on Wednesday, a presentation in another class, three papers due in seven days and, a newspaper article that I have been tailing for the last few weeks. It is going to be hectic and I am probably going to be stressed out. But I have a good feeling that everything will come out on the plus side.

The Hek

This darn blog is acting up.

The Hek

Me and the folks at the Carleton Improv Association are going to be putting on a free show of Improvisational comedy. If you are in the Ottawa area, come check us out.

Friday

7pm

Feen Lounge in the Residence Commons building, on the campus of Carleton University.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, Noel and I will be interviewing author and filmmaker Gywn Dyer and comedian and actor Brett Butt. It will be a joly good time had by all.

Tune in 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

The CKCU funding drive has come to a successful end. This year the station raised $103, 835.39 and as usual beat its annual goal of $93,100. Not sure what they're going to do with the remaining 39 cents but, they'll think of something.

In the meantime, it looks like the Raptors have got something going this year. Today, they beat Portland and are now 3-0 on the season. The Hek is not going to lie to you, that is sexy.

Also, I spent the entire day cleaning my pad. I shall celebrate this feat with a meal of tacos and alphegettis.

The Hek

Chris Bosh put out an amazing performance tonight against the Pistons. Of course, when I was choosing my fantasy NBA team, I thought "Should I take Bosh?" I decided not too and look what happens. Fortunately, I did take Jalen Rose and he has done well.

Speaking about doing well, the Argos beat the Ti-Cats tonight and they move on the Eastern final against Montreal.

Okay, here is the thought of the day:

You know what sucks? When you try to download what you think is an episode of Jackass and instead turns out to be a compilation of two porn shorts and another short on fire safety.

Have a nice weekend,

The Hek

First off, Wednesday Blend made a total of $145 for this years' CKCU funding drive. That is more then double from what Noel and I made last year. So, to all the people who dialed and donated, thank you!

Now on to the election:

What really bugs me about the results is that I now have to put up with another four years of anti-Bush sentiment. I can't stand that. Don't get me wrong. I oppose George Bush's polices but I also oppose this notion that he is some kind of demonic, immoral, heartless human being. There have been other politicians and world leaders who have been much worse than George W. Bush. Hitler comes to mind. So does Moussoni and Saddam. To disagree with Bush's stances on the issues is one thing. That's cool. But to make him out to be murderous insensible Texan is going to far. Of course that's just my opinion.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, it will be our last funding drive show. Last week we made $45 and this week we hope to make a little more. You can help us out by dialing and donating from 7-8am EST. The phone number is 613-520-2528. You can donate as much as you want. $5, $20, $40, it doesn't matter at all. You can also donate online at CKCU's website.

Noel and I will also be talking about the US election and having some insane fun. Tune in, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

The CKCU Funding Drive: Now at $60,000.

We're well into our first week of the funding drive now. CKCU calls on you to help support community radio in Ottawa. Real radio that supports independent music - local, Canadian and worldwide!. A voice for the community - and an outlet and training facility for anyone interested in radio. Run mainly by 200+ volunteers, CKCU has been part of Ottawa's airwaves 29 years-as well as being available online worldwide. This is your chance to help keep this community service available and show your support for your favorite CKCU programs.Some facts about CKCU:

• CKCU relies on donations from listeners for nearly one third of its annual budget.
• CKCU is a Registered Charity funded by donors like you, the students of Carleton University and by Program Sponsorships.Tax receipts are issued.
• CKCU runs on a bare-bones budget. With a devoted, overworked and underpaid staff of only four people - along with two hundred volunteers - we are able to produce first-class radio at a cost of approximately $40 per hour.

The drive ends this Sunday. Help us raise $93,100!

There are many ways you can donate. You can check them out at CKCU's website. Every year, the hosts and DJ's compete to see which show can get the most donations. If there's a particular show you would like to help out, say The Wednesday Morning Special Blend, all you have to do is donate while that show is on the air (in this case, Wednesday 7-8am EST). The phone number to dial and donate is 613-520-2528. You can also donate on behalf on the show over the web.

Thanks you for your support.

The Hek

Well that was an interesting weekend.

The Hek

"The Situation has changed and we've got to change with it, adapt to our new environment, Darwinism, Improvise. Whatever, man, we have to roll with it."

I might be paraphrasing but I just don't give a shit. When you are a Legend Killer, you don't have to.

Meanwhile, CKCU still needs your help. See the website for more details.

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The Hek

CKCU Funding Drive Update: $30,000

Wednesday Blend Total so far: $45

Do the math, it equals to 0.15%. But there is 10 days left to go.

Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. They ended that 86-year-old drought and finally brought a World Championship to their fair city. Not only that, but they silenced the best offense in baseball, the St. Louis Cardinals.

The Hek

It's the first of two Funding drive shows on the Wednesday Blend. Noel and I are going to pull out all the stops. Help us out: Dial and Donate, 613-520-2528. See Monday's blog for more info.
7-8AM EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

CKCU News

Annual Funding Drive from Friday, October 22nd to Sunday, November 7th:

The Drive Has Arrived! CKCU calls on you to help support community radio in Ottawa. Real radio that supports independent music - local, Canadian and worldwide!. A voice for the community - and an outlet and training facility for anyone interested in radio. Run mainly by 200+ volunteers, CKCU has been part of Ottawa's airwaves 29 years-as well as being available online worldwide. This is your chance to help keep this community service available. Some facts about CKCU:

• CKCU relies on donations from listeners for nearly one third of its annual budget.
• CKCU is a Registered Charity funded by donors like you, the students of Carleton University and by Program Sponsorships.Tax receipts are issued.
• CKCU runs on a bare-bones budget. With a devoted, overworked and underpaid staff of only four people - along with two hundred volunteers - we are able to produce first-class radio at a cost of approximately $40 per hour.

There are many ways you can donate. You can check them out at CKCU's website. Every year, the hosts and DJ's compete to see which show can get the most donations. If there's a particular show you would like to help out, say The Wednesday Morning Special Blend, all you have to do is donate while that show is on the air (in this case, Wednesday 7-8am EST). The phone number to dial and donate is 613-520-2528.

Thanks for your support

The Hek

Last night I went on a haunted walk in downtown Ottawa. The stories were cool and creative but it did not scare me......until I went to bed, and lay on my bed in my dark room. Suddenly, things that shouldn't make noise, made noise. I was a little boy again; head under the covers, drenched in sweat. To be honest, the stories have made me a bit on the edge.

Okay, time to get down to business: World Series. Now Game one was a slugfest. But despite that, it's going to be a closely contended match up. So The Hek is predicting that the Red Sox will beat the Cardinals in seven games.

The Hek

It's starting to get down to the nitty gritty here at Carleton. The Hek has got 3 midterms and one paper in the next four weeks. My first midterm will be just multiple choice, fill in the blanks, short answer and matching columns. Thank God.

I also saw Team America last night with my friend, Owen. Basically, if you like South Park, you will enjoy this movie. It makes a political statement in a vulgar way. "America: Fuck Yeah!"

Here is my recent article from the Charlatan.

The Hek

Boston is awesome!

The Boston Red Sox: American League Champions.

Maybe the biggest sports story of the decade.

And best of all, they beat the Yankees.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND, Noel and I will talking about all the crazy things this world has to offer. We will also be joined (if we can get it) by a very cool and special guest. Who is it you ask? Well, you are just going have to tune in to find out.

Wednesday 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Ah, the brilliance of the University Residence Cafeteria.

So, the caf at school decided they wanted to fix their dishwasher. When do they decide to fix it? This weekend which means that everybody has to use paper plates, cups and untencils. They decide it would be better to fix the dishwasher this weekend instead of last weekend when most the residence students were at home for Thanksgiving. Now everybody has to use the paper cuttlery. Bet you anything they run out by Saturday evening.

The Hek

So I have been watching the ALCS and NLCS and I cannot believe how many former Blue Jays are playing and have a chance to win a World Series title.

Roger Clemens (Astros)
Pete Munro (Astros)
Woody Williams (Cardinals)
Jeff Kent (Astros)
John Olerud (Yankees)
Mike Mattheny (Cardinals)
Miguel Cairo (Yankees)
Tanyon Sturtz (Yankees)
Chris Carpenter (Cardinals)
Paul Quantrill (Yankees)
Mike Timlin (Red Sox)

That's as much as I can think of, I might be missing a couple of other players. But still, that is just a pure case of irony.

The Hek

Once again The Hek would like to restate that he despises the New York Yankees with a passion.

Here is The Hek's latest Charlatan article.

The Hek

Well, it was a great Thanksgiving long weekend! The Hek has returned safe and sound and is ready to tackle the daily grind of school once more.

This week on the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND, Noel and I will discuss all the wackiness that is human life. For example, Detroit Red Wings Defensemen Chris Chelious' quest to be the next member of the United States Bobsled Team.

Tune in, Wednesday 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

Oh god! I hate the New York Yankees!

The Hek is heading home for the holiday. First time I have done that in two years. I am so looking forward to it. I shall return on Tuesday. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving everybody!

The Hek

Boy, I would like to forget about the misfortune I suffered today. Stupid computer.

Don't you forget to tune into the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. Once again, Noel and I will be talking about the hottest topics in the world today.

Tune in: Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

It is amazing how the weather can control how I feel.

Today in Ottawa it rained and poured in the afternoon and was completely dark and dreary. It made me quite miserable. And then, the rain clears and its sunny by 6:00pm and my mood changes to a more upbeat content feeling. The weather is one crazy kid.

The Hek

So yesterday the first debate of the presidential election was held.

The Hek did not watch it, nor do I care too. The way I see it, it's the lesser of two evils. Bush sucks and Kerry is a dull, boring, uninspiring man.

In any case, here is some presidential humor: This Land

The Hek

BIG NEWS

The Hek will be filling in on the Friday Morning Special Blend. I'll be interviewing two poets competing in the Canadian Spoken Wordlympics. In the spirit of competition, the two poets will recite a poem each and then the listeners will decide which one is better. This is going to be FUN!

Tune in Friday, 7-8AM est. on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

In a span of 15 minutes The Hek woke up, got dressed, grabbed his stuff, ran to CKCU and made it to his show on time. That is a world record. I just hope I remembered to wear pants.

Merçi Expos. Bonne chance en Washington.

The Hek

Don't forget to listen to the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. On this week's show Noel and I will talk about all sorts of things, including the Montreal Expos moving to a new city for next year. It's a full hour of fun.

Tune in, Wednesday 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

Today is my father's birthday. So The Hek would like to wish his Dad a happy and healthy birthday!

The Hek

Today is the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. On this day, Jews all over the world fast for 25 hours in order to atone for all of their sins from the past year.

May we all be stamped in the book of life.

The Hek

Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, Grandmaster Flash? Where have all gone too? Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

The Hek

I feel so tired. I am starting to feel run down. I feel like the world is crashing on me. And everybody is laughing at me.

Then, confidence consumes me and I feel one million times better.

The Hek

SEX IS OVERRATED!!!!!


Hehe, now that I have your attention, be sure to tune into the critically acclaimed WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. This week, we'll talk music news, sports, the Emmys and John Tory. All good fun.

Wednesday 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

First off, yesterday I went to see Vision Theatre's production of Noises Off at the University of Ottawa and it was fantastic. Very enjoyable and funny.

Here is The Hek's most recent article from One-80.

The Hek

Oh my, another day, another box of stolen pens.

Yesterday, I had the chance to check out my buddy Simon's Stand up comedy act at Yuk Yuk's. He did an okay job. There were some comedians that were better and worse then Simon. The MC who I believe is named Chuck Milne was outstanding. And, I did enjoy Don Perrier as well. But Dirty Old Gord should be shot. He is a dirty, dirty man.

Click here to read The Hek's latest article.

The Hek

Don't forget to tune into the Wednesday Morning Special Blend. We'll be talking about a lot of things including the World Cup of Hockey and the NHL labor dispute.

7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Wow, I cannot believe it!

Strong Bad did an e-mail segment that pays homage to Piper's Pit. Now there are two characters that should run some sort of rouge nation, Roddy Piper and Strong Bad.

I really hate the month of September. I always have. I don't like it because its the start of an unknown trail. Apologies to anyone who like this month.

The Hek

4 hours of Carleton Ravens Baseball + 3 hours of World Cup Hockey = one tired Hek

The Hek

Yesterday, it rained like never before. It seemed that Ottawa got the tail end of the hurricane that hit Florida earlier in the week. Literally, there was a three foot lake outside my window. The building I live in could not handle the rain. The first floor got completely flooded and all the residents who live there, had to be shipped off to a hotel. My room had two puddles appear near my computer. So, there's a garbage bag over my computer. It's like a condom. Fortunately, it is drying nicely. Stupid Smarch weather.

The Hek

Here is another great e-mail sent to me:

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's 2003 winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops brioght ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit }
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly 15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

The Hek

Now that I am back in Ottawa, it is time to head back to the Blend.

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, Noel, James and I will catch up on lost time and discuss all the crazy happenings in the world. Plus we'll have music news, sports recaps and my favorite, Bytowne Movie Listings.

Tune in: Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Today I learnt the true meaning of Labour day.

It all started after lunch. I needed some dairy products as well as some wall tacs. The best place to get these things would be the Billings Bridge Shopping mall. As someone who needs some exercise, I chose to walk to the mall. The walk was a good 25 minutes and I was exhausted. However, when I came to the front entrance, I discovered that the entire mall was closed for Labour day. It was then that I said something along the lines of "Mother F**ker." So, I turned around and walked all the way back to my home. I did happen to stop along the way at a 7-11 and was able to pick up some of my groceries. Nevertheless, I intend to go back to the mall and pick up the remainder of my shopping list. And, I do intend to take the bus which leads me to my next point.

I went to go by a sheet of ten bus tickets and discovered that the good people at Ottawa-Carleton transportation (OC Transpo) had raised the price for a sheet of tickets from $8.50 to $9.00. That is an OUTRAGE!

There were some bright spots to this day. I got to see Tim before he goes to England and I had lunch with my friend, Jen.

The Hek

The Hek has arrived safe and sound in Ottawa. It was a quick trip and the moving in went perfectly well. More to come later.

The Hek

Time to head back to Ottawa. Thanks for a great summer!

The Hek

NO TIM NO!!!!

I got my G license on July 22, 2004. I was just making a comment about how life flies by sometimes. But as Vincent says in the movie Collateral, "You have to improvise." Now I'm not sure if that made any sense but I put the quote in because I saw the movie and thought it was really cool.

The Hek

When I got my G1 license in September, 1999, the expiry date read August 26, 2004. I never thought that day would actually come. And now, it has come and gone.

The Hek

Ingrown Toe: check
Two cavities: check

Now, I saw that this website provides a comment board. I have added it so, if you see two "comments" links up, go to the new one. The Hek is confident that it will work.

The Hek

And now, two fortunes from two fortune cookies devoured by The Hek and Emily.

The Hek's fortune: Your musical talents will soon be noted.

The Hek's other fortune: Success depends upon hard work.

Discuss...

The Hek

Camp Capers 2004: Done and Done!!

The Hek

MOTHER F**KER!!!!

So yesterday I went to the doctor to have my ingrown toenail taken care of. I sat in the office and time went by like the time it takes a turtle to walk from Toronto to Ottawa. Finally, the doctor comes in with a sheepish look on his face:

"Hi The Hek, I'm really sorry but it looks like I have run out of the freezing that I need for your toe. We will have to rebook the appointment."

To be fair, The Hek's doctor did look around for the freezing medication. He went to other doctor's offices and even ran to the pharmacy downstairs.

What a lousy time to run out of freezing. To make things worse, one of my campers stepped on the bad toe and it hurt like hell.

Well, the way I should see it is that it is a blessing in disguise.

The Hek

This is another e-mail that was sent to me:

Owed Two a Spell Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea; It plainly marques four my revue miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong or write, it shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is made it nose bee fore two long. And eye can put the error rite, it's rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it and I'm shore your pleased two no It's letter perfect awl the weigh, My chequer tolled me sew.

The Hek

Check it out, folks. The Hek has got only one more week of camp.

In other news, the doctor is going to cut my nail on both sides of the toe. FUN!

The Hek

I am going to be completely honest with you people. Ingrown toe-nails are very,very painful. I have a bad feeling that I am going to be operated on. This adds to the two cavities that need to be taken care of. FUUUUUN!

To all my readers in North Carolina:

If any of you come across a pretty Canadian girl named Emily. Please tell her that The Hek misses her very much and can't wait to see her again.

The Hek

This was sent to me through e-mail:

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade, in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!


Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

----------------------------------------------------

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but his commandos made it.

---------------------------------------------------

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.

----------------------------------------------------

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

----------------------------------------------------

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

----------------------------------------------------

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.

----------------------------------------------------

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."

----------------------------------------------------

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.

----------------------------------------------------

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

----------------------------------------------------

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

----------------------------------------------------

Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

----------------------------------------------------

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

---------------------------------------------------

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

----------------------------------------------------

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.

--------------------------------------------------

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

----------------------------------------------------

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

----------------------------------------------------

On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

----------------------------------------------------

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

----------------------------------------------------

Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Bethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

---------------------------------------------------

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

---------------------------------------------------

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.

----------------------------------------------------

Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.

----------------------------------------------------

Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.

----------------------------------------------------

Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.

The Hek

****THE HEK****

Dancing with the devil in the pale blue light since 1983.

Happy Simcoe Day

The Hek

Mr. Wood,

I read your comment.

About time you got rid of that spyware.

You were missing all the good stuff.

Benoit vs. HHH Iron man match was off the charts. Go Eugene!

The Hek

I have to work on that comments board.

The Hek

G license? Got it. The Hek is now a fully licensed driver. So watch out!
 
The Hek

Well camp continues to go well. Things have gotten a lot better since the problem child left. I feel more relaxed and less stressed out. Today is my buddy Mike's birthday. The Hek and friends got a Mike a gift. Wait a minute, Mike if you are reading this, STOP. Go to another site or something. The last thing I want is to spoil THE SURPRISE OF A LIFETIME!!!!
 
The Hek

Ha-Ha!
 
Good-bye problem child!
 
The Hek

Camp is going "well." Yeah that's it, "well."

The Hek

So here is what happened at the camp The Hek runs:

3 campers craped/peed in their pants. That's a new record.

1 Camper had a huge brawl with The Hek's boss and flipped everybody the bird. Yesterday the camper stuffed his mouth with grass and cut The Hek on the right hand. A little blood.

Tomorrow at The Hek's camp: Peter Peter Puppet Theatre!

The Hek

MOTHER F**KER!

Wait till you all hear what happened to The Hek today.

So there I was at the Drive Test Centre getting ready for my G2 Exit Road Test. After this test, I will be qualified to have a full license. I was all ready to go. I paid the fee, I parked my car in the testing centre and I filled out all the proper paper work. My examiner comes up to me and asks me to start the car so he can check to see if all the lights work. So I put the key in the ingnition and get NOTHING! Right then and there the car's battery DIES! It was gone, finished, kaput. Talk about horrible talking. Well, to make a long story short, a toe-truck driver gave it a boost so we could get it to a mechanic and now The Hek's car has a new alternater. As for the test, I now have to wait till October 14 to take it. That's going to be very hard because my current license expires August 26.

You know, sometimes I feel that a black cloud follows me wherever I go.

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!

Ferris Wheels with cars? Brilliant!

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!

Ferris Wheels with cars? Brilliant!

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!

Ferris Wheels with cars? Brilliant!

The Hek

HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!!!!

Ferris Wheels with cars.....Brilliant!

The Hek

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Hek's reaction when he discovered that CTV moved The Ultimate Love Test to an earlier time and missed the episode.

Does Tim know about this?

The Hek

"Your vacuum cleaner ate my pants. There was nothing I could do."

The Hek

It's amazing how time just flies by. I just don't understand it. Before I know it, I'll be old and wrinkly.

Another thing I have to put out of my mind.

The Hek

Ah, Canada.

If you don't like how things are going, you can always rely on people's sense of humor: Whack The Prime Minister.

The Hek

If anybody knows a trampoline centre that gives lessons to children for free, please let The Hek know.

In the coming weeks: The Hek's thoughts on the Canadian election.

The Hek

Well The Hek is back from Montreal. I had a fantastic time, the wedding was wonderful and the band was awesome. The band members were all Cubans, none of them were Jewish but, they knew all the Jewish songs and pronounced the words perfectly.

Back to the real world. Don't forget to watch The Ultimate Love Test tonight.

The Hek

Ever wondered what The Hek looked like?

Now you can thanks to Tim. Look at the entry for June 3, 2004.

I am back in Ottawa, heading for a wedding in Montreal.

The Hek

So television has taken all morals and values and thrown it out the window. It's a brand new show called The Ultimate Love Test. Couples are split up, one goes to a travel resort, the other stays home. The producers purposely give the people that are at the resort new possible, tempting love interests. They then tape all the escapades and send to the significant others who are at home. Emotions ensue, and in the end, nobody is happy. Whatever happened to trust and love? Why is it being toyed with? It's so bad, but it is so compelling, I can't stop watching it.

The Hek

I think Pierre Trudeau said it best: Despite all its shams and corruption it is still a beautiful world. Strive to be happy.

The Hek

Hitler on Ice? Mel Brooks is a genius.

The Hek

Emily......Baseball.......Wrestling........Canadian Elections.......Simon please keep off the puns.........Greg Zaun for Kevin Cash.........Must film a movie tomorrow....The Cheat.



Thoughts on The Hek's mind.

The Hek

The new American Idol was crowned last night. Her name is Fantasia and she's got a dance called the bobo. The Hek thinks she has some talent but I am not too crazy about her voice. Kinda sounds like a cartoon character. But she will go far.

Okay, its time for The Hek's sophisticated survey of the month: is it better to be a pacifist or a non-pacifist?

The Hek

Have a happy and healthy Victoria/Memorial Day long Weekend.

Owen Hart, it has been 5 years since you left us. But we have not forgotten about you. RIP.

The Hek

Has this world gone completely insane? Innocent people being murdered in Iraq because they're American? Prisoners in Iraq, being tortured by American soldiers (so much for life, liberty and pursuit of happiness)? Police officers being stabbed to death by fucked up teenagers? The stuff in Israel? You know sometimes The Hek wonders if this world needs a good cleansing.

The Hek

Ah,the wonderful world of Canadian politics: Stephen Harper Said

The Hek

The Hek works with little children. Town of Markham Summer Camps. Yee-Haw!

The Hek

What? Blogger has a new setup? Great, just when I finally figured out how to use the last one. Well, at least the spell check is still up. BTW, I'm starting to hate my job. The Hek blames Boston Rob for this.

The Hek

So here I am once more in the library, trying to get my marks for two remaining courses. Still nothing and that has got The Hek worried.

Anyway, I was watching American Idol last night and it occurs me, Ryan Seacrest has to be one of the most polished personalities ever. Every time he moves, he sparkles. Ben Mulroney has not hit that level yet. I wonder if that's a good thing.

The Hek

Wow, library computers are really slow.

The Hek

Somewhere between Ottawa and Toronto, it hits you: Those were some fine eggs.

The Hek

First off, I watched Kill Bill, Volume 2 last night and The Hek thought it was awesome. Both volumes are works of art and true masterpieces. David Caradine who, plays Bill, did an Oscar winning performance.

Well its hard to believe, but I have finished my second year of university. It was certainly a year where I learnt a lot about myself. I had some high moments and I had some low times. However, in the end, if I was asked to do it again, I would do it and not change anything. Will The Hek have a similar experience in third year? Well, only time will tell. Until then, it is time for the summer.

As some of you may know, I do not have the internet at home. Therefore, these post will be less frequent. But I do encourage you to continue to read and check.

Have a good summer everybody.

The Hek

I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO YEARS DOWN, TWO MORE TO GO!

To celebrate, The Hek is going to watch Kill Bill, Volume 2.

"I want him to know, that I want him to know," said the angry bride.

The Hek

"The Cheat, get the man some soup."

Wow, one more exam to go. And then, the summer. It's amazing how life can be so slow and also fast at the same time.

The Hek

Tomorrow will be the last Wednesday Morning Special Blend before The Hek returns to Thornhill for the summer vacation. I will make some calls to the show during the summer and will return as a full time host in September. Tomorrow's show will be off the charts, I think. We will have a lot of good things.

Tune in: 7-8am EST. CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?

Jose Theodore is GOD. The Canadiens are immortal. Final score of Game 7, Montreal:2, Boston: 0. Now it is on to the next round against either Philadelphia or Tampa Bay. GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO!

Randy Orton vs. Cactus Jack was off the charts. It was definitely a "match of the year" candidate. Chris Beniot is still the champ!

PS: I hate stats.

The Hek

Anyone who says life is beautiful never studied for a stats exam.

Statistics: The tool of Satan.

In other news....

Ottawa Senators: 2
Toronto Maple Leafs: 1
Double OT

Nice day for a Game 7.

The Hek

I saw the best form of graffiti in the Carleton library today:

AIR SUPPLY RULES!


Now that's some good graffiti.

The Hek

Well it appears that Stone Cold Steve Austin has left the WWE again. Oh well, he was not doing anything significant.

Montreal:5, Boston:1 (BOS leads 3-2)

Toronto:2, Ottawa: 0 (TOR leads 3-2)

Both of these series will go seven games and The Hek is picking the Habs and Sens to take it. Does not look good for me right now. What are your predictions, dear reader?

The Hek

Wow, the school year is almost over.

The Hek

The Hek is indeed The King of Swing!

And let's not forget my status as a Legend Killer. Speaking of which, what an awesome main event on RAW this past Monday. 8-man tag match: Chris Benoit/Mick Foley/HBK/Shelton Benjamin vs. Evolution. Crowd was hot and there was never a boring moment.

Writing a three-hour exam on no sleep is not just a challenge. It is an act of survival.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Blend, Noel and I will be playing an interview with author Michael Kennedy who, has put together a selection of prose and short stories on hockey.

Tune in every Wednesday morning from 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

1 2 3 4!

Playoff Hockey is AWESOME!

Playoff Hockey's GREAT!

Playoff Hockey is AWESOME!

Playoff Hockey's GREAT!

But I'll never forget you, grrrrl.

(Montreal: 3, Boston: 2)

The Hek

Wow, this blog just went crazy-go nuts on me.

Okay feeling better. Actually, The Hek is feeling much better. Now all I need is for the Canadiens to beat Boston.

The Hek

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

The Hek is screwed. Thanks Carleton, thanks Michelle Martin and thanks to the exam scheduler. I'm so mad I can't even spell right.

The Hek

Just give me a chance to do a hip-hop dance. Just give me a chance to do a dance!

And now something for Passover:

As you know, every year or two, the queen of England receives a list of
candidates who merit being recognized as a knight. These men (and women)
are deemed to have done something for Queen and country.

Chiam, a Jew, was honored with this award. However, he noted that just
before being knighted, by being tapped on the shoulder with a sword, that a
few words in Latin were pronounced. Chiam was concerned, as he didn't
really know any Latin, and was most uncomfortable about receiving the
knighthood.

His friend offered some advice. "Don't worry, no one understands, just say
some words in Hebrew. They (Queen and company) don't understand Hebrew and
all will be OK."

The night of the ceremony, as the Queen took the sword and tapped him on
the shoulder, he began his reply, "Ma Nish Ta Nah, Ha Lila Ha Zeh, .....".
At the conclusion of this small response, the Queen turned to an aide and
asked "Why is this knight different from all other Knights?"

HAPPY PASSOVER

The Hek

Presenting an excellent stress reliever: Poke The Bunny

It's simple, all you have to do is poke the bunny and cool things happen.

Tomorrow my friends and I at the Carleton Improv Association will putting on a show from 124 Leeds House at Carleton University. If you're in Ottawa and want a good laugh, come on down.

The Hek

Want to know who will be playing at Ottawa's Tulip Festival?

Tune into the Wednesday Blend for full concert listings.

7-8AM EST

CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Anyone who says life is beautiful never took a stats class.

Statistics: the spawn of Satan.

The Hek

Okay, The Hek is in dire need for a Lenscrafters. Small little incident in road hockey. Long story short: Ball hits The Hek in the side of the head and now my glasses are awkward.

The Hek

Some Random Thoughts:

The problem with Russian history is that there is too much of it.

The Hek has learnt how to play chess, so watch out, Bobby Fischer.

The Hek does not want to go back to his job this summer.

The Randy Orton/Mick Foley feud was intense. But then, The Rock showed up and it kind of lost its steam. If I was booking Wrestlemania XX, The Hek would have made a match between Shawn Michaels and Rock. That would be awesome!

I am playing road hockey tomorrow.

Okay, I am done now. Have a good weekend.

The Hek

Winner of The Charlatan's "Most Consecutive Stories" award.

Bagel from Tim Horton's with cream cheese: $1.47

Pepsi at the Furgus Inn: $2.00

Bus tickets: $8.50

Being a Mass Communications student and going to the Journalism school's end of year party and eating all their food: Priceless.

The Hek

A good friend said this to me:

Certain things are not meant to be for a reason. Certain things are not meant to be because you're on the path to something better.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, we will be interviewing a representative from Carleton's Falun Gong Society. They are putting on a mock trial and charging Jiang Zemin with committing crimes against humanity. Should be interesting!!

7-8 AM EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

This Day In History

March 29, 1996

Seven years ago, I saw my first-ever professional basketball game. It was the Toronto Raptors taking on the Orlando Magic. This was when Orlando was an awesome team and still had Shaq. The final score was 126-86 for the Magic. The seats were bad and the Raptors stank.

Just like this season.

Nothing much has changed.

The Hek

New counter at the bottom? Maybe.....

The Hek must find the soundtrack to Hard Core Logo. It is the greatest Canadian film ever made.

The Hek

Last year, I was able to follow the exciting action of the National Lacrosse League mainly because the arena for the Ottawa Rebel was a ten minute walk from campus. However, over the summer the team folded so I have not been able to keep up with what is going on, which is a shame. Lacrosse is an awesome game to watch and most teams get good crowds. Anyway, the Toronto Rock are in first place, go Rock go!

The Hek

The Hek has just gone through a week of CRAZY GO NUTS activities and he needs a rest. Have a good weekend everybody.

The Hek

PS: Happy Birthday EM!

A Minnesota Winter

August 12th: Moved to our new home in Minnesota, Beautifull here. The northern woods are so majsetic. Can't hardly wait for snow. I love it here.

October 14th: Minnesota is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned colors-shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the country and saw some deer, They are so graceful...certainly they are the most beautiful animals on the earth. I really love it here.

November 11th: Dear season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. What a beautiful place.

December 12th: Snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looked like a postcard! We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight ( I WON ) ,and when the snow plow came by we got to shovel the driveway again, What a beautiful place. I love Minnesota.

December 14th: More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick to the driveway again. It's so great here.

December 19th: More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow.

December 22nd: More of the white shit fell last night, I have blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around curves and waits until i'm done shoveling the driveway, Asshole!!!

December 25th: Merry Fucking Christmas! More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they use salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.

December 27th: More white shit fell last night, Been inside for three days except for shoveling the driveway after that snow plow goes through. Can't go anywhere--the car's stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect 19" of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels of snow 19" is ?

December 28th: The fucking weatherman was wrong, We got 34" of that white shit this time. At this rate, it won't melt before summer, The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastaard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six-shovels already shoveling all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last shovel over his fucking head.

January 4th: Finally got out of the house today, Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damn deer ran in front of my car and I hit it. Did $3,000 damage to the car, Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November.

May 3rd: Took the car to the garage in town, would you believe the thing is rusting out from all that fucking salt they put all over thte road?

May 10th: Moved to Texas, I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that god-forsaken state of Minnesota !!!

The Hek

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, Noel and I will be recapping the Budget. We will also have our music news, sports report, weather and all types of good wholesome fun. Tune in 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

Great. A service error just erased my blog for the day.

Congratulations to the Carleton university Ravens Men's Basketball team for winning their second straight national title.

The Hek.

Too bad about Belinda Stronach.

Superstar Billy Graham. Now there's someone who could lead the Conservatives.

Last year at this time, I spent Saturday night in the library doing research for a paper. Today, one year later, I did the exact same thing. Strange.

The Hek

The Hek was the fill-in Sports Editor at The Charlatan this week. The issue is out and it looks great! I had a lot of fun but I have to tell you, laying out is a bitch. If your in the Ottawa area, be sure to pick it up. It's got a lot of good stuff in it.

The Hek

The Hek loves poetry

A Robin's Song
By Shelly

As I awoke this morning
Sleepfull with a yawn
A robin perched upon my sill
To signal of the dawn
Oh lovely was it's message
How sweetly did it sing
It beconed me to rise and shine
With song and fluttered wing
So I arose so gently
To give it's song a lull
I gently closed the window
And crushed its fucking skull.

Nice

The Hek

Celebrating 21 years of The Hek

Cake? Cake sounds good.

The Hek

Celebrating 21 years of The Hek

Well I am off Montreal for an improv tournament. My friends and I at the Carleton Improv Association (CIA) will be taking on some of the best improv teams in Quebec. The CIA, however, is there to entertain. I'm sorry but if you look at improv and try to win instead of entertaining then, you turn improv into a sport. Which means that you enforce rules. But Improv has no rules and in the end it's not at all fun when you make it a sport.

Last year we went to this tournament and due to the actions of some of the CIA members we figured that the organizers would never invite us back. But, they have!
Get ready Montreal!!!!!!

The Hek

I need to put things on a list.

The Hek

Huge news from the world of wrestling!

BROCK LESNAR IS QUITTING THE WWE AFTER WRESTLEMANIA 20

This is quite horrible because he was one of the rising stars. His rise comes at a crucial time when the WWE badly needs to make new stars. Brock Lesnar also represents the future of the WWE. Ten years from now, there will be no Rock, no Stone Cold, no HHH, no Ric Flair. Ten years from now it will be John Cena, Randy Orton, Batista, Paul London, Charlie Hass, Shelton Benjamin and Brock Lesnar. Well, not anymore I guess.

As you can tell, The Hek is quite outraged by this announcement and pissed as well.

The Hek

Oh, what a crazy day in the NHL.

Don't forget to tune into the Wednesday Morning Special Blend. Not sure what we're doing but, I am sure it will be fine and dandy like apple candy.

7-8AM EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Attention celebrities! Are you looking for a place to get your precious mail delivered? Then look no further then THE CIRCUS OF THE DAMNED!

The circus of the damned takes all types of celebrities from Joan Rivers to that kid from the Partridge Family. And you can always expect top quality service...........Or, a girl all dressed in black who will probably dance on your grave when you chose to leave this mortal world.

So act now before its too late!

This public service announcement was brought to you by The Hek.

If ya smell what The Hek is cookin'

- I really wish she would remember who the hockey player was.

The Hek

The Hek is not a big fan of Sunday. But at least I am no longer sick. On a side note, convenience stores are suppose to be convenient. But none of them sell Q-TIPS!!

The Hek

Everybody Loves The HEKstar Runner!!!!

This cough is getting on my nerves.

The Hek

Carleton Ravens: 62
Ottawa Gee-Gees: 61

One second.

One second could have made all the difference.


Sunday: Fever
Monday: Stuffed
Tuesday: Sore throat and nasty cough
Wed: Loss of voice
Thursday: Ear infection
Friday: Sweating too excessively

Have a good weekend everyone.

The Hek

All Hek, all the time. Nothing but the best!

Sunday: Fever
Monday: Completely stuffed
Tuesday: Sore throat and nasty cough
Wednesday: Loss of voice
Thursday: Ear infection
Friday: TBA

When the Hek gets the flu, he makes sure that he covers all the bases. Stupid flu.

Try doing a one hour radio show with a hoarse and rasp voice. It is not fun, believe me.

The Hek

The Hek needs a doctor. The Hek needs a doctor.

"Doctor, my right ear is completely blocked. I can not hear for shit. It's Frosh Week 2002 all over again. Good doctor, GET THE PUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Hek

The Hek is back up to 80% and plans to be at 100% by tomorrow!

Speaking about tomorrow....

Tomorrow on the Wednesday Blend, Noel and I will have the Razzie results, the results from Super Tuesday and all types of Tom Foolery.

Tune in, 7-8AM EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

What a shitty, shitty day. I basically stayed in bed all day and ate little. Fortunately, I feel my flu symptoms to be wearing off but I am drained. Stupid flu. I had to skip my classes and I never do that. I cannot afford to miss those. And what really bugs me is the fact that I'm not doing anything and I am sweating like a porn star. Stupid, stupid flu.

Well the oscars were held last night. I was extremely happy to see Denys Arcand pick up the award for best foreign film for The Barbarian Invasions. I've seen Jesus de Montréal and enjoyed it. I recommend his films to everybody.

But now the big news: There's a new episode of Teen Girl Squad!!!!!

Cheerleader

So and So

What's her face

The Ugly One

Did I mention that I hate this flu?

The Hek

Looks like The Hek has been sidelined with a fever and sore throat.

:-(

I really hate being sick. I do not have time to be sick.

The Hek

Today, I went to see The Passion of The Christ.

It was not the best movie I have seen but, it certainly ranks up there. It is a very moving and powerful film. If I were to compare it to another film, I would say that it is the same as Saving Private Ryan , in the sense of both film's brutal reality and their ability to make the viewer feel the main character's pain.

As a person of Jewish faith, I was interested to see how the Jews would be portrayed in the film. I was worried that the film unknowingly might have had an anti-Semitic stance in it. Fortunately this was not the case. The theme of this film is to love your fellow humans despite the little differences (ie: creed, culture, religion) and to forgive those who mistreat you.

On a side note, the dialogue of the film was spoken in Aramaic. I don't know a lot about this particular language but I detected some Hebrew and Latin in it.

Well to conclude, The Hek absolutely recommends this movie. I will admit, It does have some gory parts so, make sure you don't eat a heavy meal.

The Hek

The week is almost over............Excellent.

The Hek

It's a funny world we live in. In 2002, the World Wildlife Fund and the World Wresting Federation went to court to see who owned the rights to the term "WWF." In the end the judge awarded the rights to the Wildlife fund. This forced Vince McMahon to change the name of his company to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). The decision ended a battle that lasted for ten years.

Now, less then two years after the wildlife fund's victory, they sale the rights to the term "WWF" after fighting for it for ten years. And you will not believe who they sale it too. Click here to see.

The Hek

Tomorrow on the show, Noel and I will make our predictions for the 2004 Razzies; honoring the worst in film.

7-8AM EST Wednesday on CKCU 93.1 FM


The Hek

I wonder if they will ever bring back the Facts of Life. Now there was a catchy theme.

So a friend has told me that I am perfecting a Sam Roberts look. Seems like cool look if you ask me. For those who know The Hek, I pose this question: What do you think?

The Hek

Wow I can't believe reading week is over. What an amazing week!

On a side note, Tim has made a good point. It was probably not Question Period but just a review of a bill. But still, 10 out of 301?

The Hek

If you are ever in Ottawa, The Hek strongly recommends that you take a tour of the Parliament Buildings. Today, a very special visitor and I decided to go on a tour and we had a great time. We went to the observation tower just below the clock on the centre tower and the scenery was breathtaking. We also went through two security checks. After the tour we we're allowed to go to the House of Commons public gallery and watch the Federal Government in action.

Which leads me to this point...

Ain't the Government great? Out of the 301 Members of Parliament that are suppose to be sitting in the House of Commons there were only about 7 MP's that were actually sitting today. Even the Speaker of The House skipped out on Friday's Question Period (the back up speaker took his place). That's politics for you.

The Hek

Nothing new to report.

The Hek

Noel is in Florida so, I'll be going solo on the next Wednesday Blend. 7-8am EST on CKCU 93. 1 FM.

The Hek

Reading week is the best week of all the weeks!

The Hek

Man, I thought I hit the golden prize. I finally found an MP3 of John Cena's Basic Thuganomics. I played it five times and then when I tried for a sixth, a creepy women told me I could not play it anymore. She scared the crap out me! Well at least I have the lyrics.



JOHN CENA
BASIC THUGANOMICS

(from: http://www5a.biglobe.ne.jp/~rd_kyk/music/basic_thugonomics.html)

So , You think you're untouchable ?

Word Life
This is Basic Thuganomics
This is ba-Basic Thuganomics

Word Life
I'm untouchable but I'm forcin' you to feel me

Word Life
This is bas-Basic thuga-thuga-Thuganomics

Word Life
I'm untouchable but I'm forcin' you to feel me

Whether fighting or spitting
My discipline is unforgiving
Got you backing up in the defensive position
An asskicking anthem
Heavyweight or bantam
Holding camps for ransom
The microphone phantom
Teams hit the floor , it's the new tight joint
Like a broken needle kid , Yon missing the point
We dominate your conference with offense that's no nonsense
My theme song hits
Get your reinforcements
We strike quick with hard kicks
Ducking ice picks , Bare-knuckle men through fight pits , beat you lifeless
You'll never survive this
You forgot like all timers
Two face rappers walk away with four shiners
The war rhymer
Turning legends to old timers
My incisors like a viper biting through your one-liners
New Deadman Inc
And we about to make you famous
Taking over Earth and still kicking in Uranus

Word Life
This is Basic Thuganomics
This is ba-Basic Thuganomics

Word Life
I'm untouchable but I'm forcin' you to feel me

Word Life
This is bas-Basic thuga-thuga-Thuganomics

Word Life
I'm untouchable but I'm forcin' you to feel me

You ain't advanced enough to process
Potential for medical concepts
Some objects are foreign like blot tests
Arts and sex are complex
Regardless of your finesse or your fitness
It's the condition of business
Your lame vision of an under-ground
Physical image , You're underneath to undermine
Your whole typical image With the precision of percentages
And the collision of sentences
Poetry beats your mic's were untouchable like righteous sluts with no
crevasses , Streets unite
we rock Tighter with dumber beats
You catscouldn't come this hot in the summer heat
But get two takes kill your birds the first time
You better stay worthy of my filler or worse rhymes
I'm better than nice
Check , the veterans twice
While you're beside yourself with fear
I'M kill you and bury you twice
Despite the cover of night
Tracking your flight like guerrilla warfare
Where the grass is dense
Approaching me is a quick way to get referred
to in the past tense
Dead-da , when the lights the mic is on
the crowd is dead like intermission When you're on the Titan-Tron

Word Life
This is Basic Thuganomics
This is ba-Basic Thuganomics

Word Life
I'm untouchable but I'm forcin' you to feel me

Word Life
This is bas-Basic thuga-thuga-Thuganomics

Word Life
I'm untouchable but I'm forcin' you to feel me

Here is another hilarious link.

How I Feel

The Hek

Another crazy week has come to an end. Let the reading week begin!

So, Farley Flex did call my show and the interview was awesome. Apparently, he has heard that I have a face for radio. ZING! I actually sang for Farley and he told me that my voice was not bad. All in all, it was one of the best interviews that Noel and I have ever done. I was planning to go to the Idol auditions but that plan unfortunately fell through. I'm a bit glad I did not go. I was going to interview contestants for the show which means I interview them and then go to the station and edit the interviews. This would just add to the list of things that I need to do and quite frankly, that is list overfilled. I'm also very tired.

I have not had a lot of sleep this week. This is due to my Russian term paper which I handed in two hours ago. So today, the mission is just to relax.

Here is something really funny that Tim sent to me: Consumer Monster's Buy Nothing Day

Until next time....

The Hek

Technochocalot Rules!!!

Anyway, tomorrow on the Wednesday Blend, Noel and I have lined up an interview with Canadian Idol Judge Farley Flex. The Ottawa auditions are this Friday!!! Plus we'll have the regular stuff. Tune in, 7-8AM on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

You gotta love the rollercoaster that is life.

It all started on Saturday when I went to Montreal with my Aunt Jackie, Uncle Jack and Cousin Kaila to attend my Cousin Aubrey's engagement party. I had a wonderful time! The best part of the trip was getting to see so many relatives that I had not seen in four years. For me, it is rare to see family. That's mainly because we all live in different cities and are not close together. Therefore, when one of these occasions do occur, it is certainly a special time.

There was a stand with photos of Aubrey and his fiancee Gabby from when they were little. Believe or not, Aubrey actually had a Knight Rider shirt. Just imagine a child walking around with David Hasselhoff on his t-shirt. Aubrey and Gabby are a great couple and I know they are going to be very happy together.

On a side note, I tried Budweiser for the first time and believe The Hek when he tells you that it is not the king of beers.

When I arrived back in Ottawa on Sunday I was planning to write a quick 200 word brief on the Carleton University Ravens Nordic Ski Team's performance at the Ontario University athletics (OUA) Championships. Basically it was suppose to be a simple little easy article and would only take me an hour to do. But at 9:00pm, to my horror, I discover that THE F**KING MEN'S AND WOMEN'S NORDIC SKI TEAM BOTH WON THE PROVINCIAL TITLE! This was huge news and it meant that my easy 200 word brief turned into a 500 word article. All I wanted was something small this weekend because I was away and didn't want to worry about writing any big articles for the Charlatan. However, as the song goes, "You can't always get what you want." I completed the article at 11:00am today and submitted it to very grateful sports editor (his name is Mark but it's not the same Mark that some readers might think it is).

So how was your weekend, Dear Reader?

The Hek

Have a good weekend everybody!!!!!

The Hek

I am starting to have dreams when I take powernaps in the afternoon. That worries me a bit. For the past three days, I have eaten stir fry for lunch. The Hek has got to cut down on that.

Isn't it amazing how the week goes by so quickly. Before you know it, it will be April!

Here is my recent article from The Charlatan.

I guess I'm in a 'random thoughts' kind of mood.

The Hek

Looks like luck was on the side of The Hek.

It all started with the radio show that went perfect and then it was off to my Russian history class. On Monday, my prof told the class that he needed to go to Ithaca, New York, and was planning to come back Tuesday night. However, if there was a snowstorm that night, he would stay there and class would be cancelled. Sure enough that's what happened. This gave me extra time for my assignment which is due tomorrow.

From there I decided to skip my English Lit class so I could have more time to work on it. I don't usually skip my classes but when it comes to marks, you can't waste your time.

With that in mind, I only went to the lecture part of my film class. Besides I had already seen the film.

Total up this borrowed time and you've got a complete assignment......sort of. I still need to work out some kinks but at least I won't have to worry about anything done last minute.

Now I just hope I get a good mark out of it.

The Hek

Yikes! What a crazy day. I haven't had anytime to relax.

Anyway I'm getting ready for my show tomorrow. Noel and I are going to be talking to a representative from the Sock and Buskin Theatre Company about getting some funding from Carleton. I'm also going to praise Noel for his correct prediction to the Super Bowl. Lucky Bastard. Tune in if you can: Wednesday 7-8am EST CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

Nothing new to report.

The Hek

I was getting a lift back to Carleton from my uncle who took Highway 417. We drove past a sign that said "Amber Alert. Please tune into local radio stations." This of course means that a child has been kidnapped.

This is what happened.

What is our world coming to?

I close my eyes and I'm taken away to a place where there is no sin and no corruption and no murder and no crime and no hate. One day, my Eden will be a reality. One day...

The Hek

I've been trying to view the website of the Carleton Student Newspaper and for some reason, everyone has been able to pick up the site except for me as well as any other resident students. I wonder if you fellow readers can pick it up outside the Ottawa area. Let me know.

The Charlatan

Thanks.

The Hek

Great. Just Great.

So there I am at the Mongolian Grill in Carleton's residence cafeteria; getting pumped for another delicious dish of stirfry.

But then, the two cooks found it important to talk about all the cute girls that were in the caf. Bad enough that the girls were aged 18-20 while both cooks were aged 35-40 but for some reason the cooks decided to praise all the ladies by making DX Crotch Chops (ie: suck it). What's worse is that they were still holding on to the metal spatulas that also happen to touch my food. So to recap: spatula touches crotch, then touches my food which goes down my throat.

I once came to the conclusion that 78% of the world's population are complete assholes.

The Hek

Hmm, a friend of mine added a comment to my blog from Jan. 22. It was quite thoughtful and had an interesting concept on death. So, I respond by using the comment function and for some reason, the comments board for that blog disappears on my computer :-(

Tomorrow on Wednesday Blend, I hope to play my interview with sexpert Sue Johanson. I am scheduled to talk to her for at least five minutes today before she talks to Resident students at Carleton university.

Tune in: Wednesday 7-8am EST, on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

OH MY!

What a crazy world I live in.

It's not easy being a Legend Killer

Oh well, remember dear reader, in the words of Pierre Elliot Trudeau: Despite all it's shams and corruption, it is still a beautiful world. Strive to be happy.

The Hek

Last night I watched a short film called Linda Joy. It was made in 1985 by Linda Joy Busby and William MacGillivary.

After beating breast cancer, Linda Joy Busby decided to document her victory. She took a movie camera, sat in front of it and simply talked about her battle and the struggles that faced herself, her friends and her family. She then took the footage to MacGillivary for editing. However, during post-production, the cancer returned and she died before the film was finished and released.

For something so simple, it is quite powerful. At the end of the film, my fellow classmates and I were silent and all on the verge of tears.

Linda Joy Busby was not afraid to die after she thought she had beaten cancer. Maybe one day, I will feel the same way.

I'm afraid of death. I'm scared of dying because I don't know what happens when it will occur. I don't want to die. I lay in bed and think of the future and at first I am in a positive state. But then, I think about what my life would be like when I am in my 60's and 70's. I am a filled with the fear and it haunts me. I pray that I will never grow old and I pray that I can avoid death. But we all know that is impossible. No matter when it will occur, I will never be ready for it.

For me, the most frightening aspect about death is that it could happen at anytime...


The Hek

Did you know that of all bands, KISS actually once recorded a disco track. It's was called something like "I was made for loving you, baby." According to Gene Simmons, the song was recorded because at the time, the band "felt like being a whore."

Oh well, I guess it's ancient Kisstory.

The Hek

Just getting ready for another awesome episode of the Wednesday Morning Special Blend. Tomorrow on the show: The Worst Dressed of 2003 and, Words That Should Be Banned From The English Language. Check it out. Wednesday 7-8am on CKCU 93.1 FM.

Yesterday I did something I had not done in a long time: play a game of road hockey. It was just great. Everyone who took part had a fantastic time and we're probably going to do it again despite the fact that we're all sore today.

For me, playing road hockey brought back a lot of memories. It took me back to my days in elementary school when all you needed was your hockey stick, your buddies, a ball and you were all set. Those were fun times. It was all I did in grade five and six. Every Tuesdays and Fridays after school I would rush home, drop my books, pick up my stick and then rush back to the school. And we played until we couldn't play no more.

However, those memories also came with a certain sadness.

When I was young boy, I lived and breathed sports. But more importantly, I wanted to be a professional athlete. It didn't matter what sport it was. In the summer, I dreamt of being the star catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, winning the World Series with a two out, bottom of the ninth home run. In the fall, I was the star quaterback with the Toronto Argonauts, winning the Grey Cup. In the winter, I was the goaltender for the Montreal Canadiens, winning the Stanley Cup. And in the spring, I was sinking Three's for the Toronto Raptors. I would imagine having children come up to me and asking me for my autograph. I wanted to be someone who was remembered as a legend.

But as I grew up and realized that I had no athletic ability whatsoever, those dreams faded away.

Now I realize that those dreams did not just fade away. Part of me died with them.

The Hek

Want a good body? Work at it.
Want to be a success? Work at it.
Want to be truly exceptional? Be a touch insane.
You need a little bit of insanity to do great things.
- Henry Rollins


The Hek

Last Saturday I watched Old School Justice League on YTV. It was awesome! I love those old 70's cartoons. Sooooo politically incorrect. Check out this matchup from a recent episode:

Superman, Batman & Robin, Wonder Woman, Aqua Man, and The Wonder Twins
vs.
Intergalactic Arabian thieves


I must watch the show again. Meanwhile back in 2004...........



The Hek

We all need people to look up to. Heros, idols, etc. You know what I am talking about fellow readers. The Hek has found one such person. Some of his actions are not something that I would do or agree with . However, I like this guy and what he stands for.

The Hek's Current Person Of Inspiration: "THE LEGEND KILLER" RANDY ORTON.

Randy Orton's Web site

Randy Orton's WWE web site

Great performer and an awesome athlete.

The Hek

Hi folks.

Well, The Hek has been under the weather for the last few days. Fortunately it was just a small cold. Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow with something worth reading.

Until then, I will leave you with this dream I had. Well, it's kind of hard to describe but basically The Hek took on Sharon Osbourne in some good ol' fashion drag racing. I think she won.

The Hek

Yup, nothing like shelling out $109.00 for a bunch of books you are going to look at for four months and then never look at again.

Watched the Carleton Ravens defeat the Laurier Golden Hawks in women's basketball, 60-54.

Anyway, here's a joke I heard in a movie called Low Visibility. "That man is so friendly, he even shakes hands with door knobs." *cue the drums.

Hey Raine! I know you are all about the Circus Of the Damned; but seriously, how can you be pissed off at Ed the Sock. He's a cult legend. Sure, his humor is a bit crude but he's very creative at it. Isn't it about creativity? He's not my favorite comedian. However he gives me a few good laughs.

Well, just some random thoughts from The Hek. Tomorrow is another day.

Go out and have fun.

The Hek

I love my Russian History Course. I believe it was said best when Russia was described as "The largest nation in the world. Run by lunatics. A genius. And, a charlot." Today I learnt about the Decemberist Revolt. Basically, after Tsar Alexander the first died/disappeared in 1825, his two brothers, Constantine and Nicholas decided that neither one of them wanted to rule the nation. Constantine had secretly abdicated his position so that he could marry his polish-catholic girlfriend. That left Nicholas in charge but he did not want the position because the guard's regiments that aided and protected the Tsar, hated his guts.

Meanwhile, members of the guard's regiments had formed secret societies which came up with a plan to revolt and turn Russian from a state of absolutism to a republic. The plan was simple. While the Southern society created a diversion by causing trouble in Ukraine, the Northen society would round up its soldiers, march into the senate square and intimidate the senate into creating a constitution. The violence that would occur would only be the execution of Nicholas since he was technically in charge.

However, the soldier that was suppose to kill Nicholas chickened out and told Nicholas what was going on. Nicholas got pissed and arrested the leader of the Northern society. The guard's regiments did march in but, they had no leader. There was one person who was to fill in for the arrested leader; however, he decided not to show up. Another soldier was sent to find someone to take charge but he didn't return. Confusion, bad orders and a few cannons later, people lost their lives and the revolt failed miserably.

Just think about it. If that one soldier did not chicken out, the fate of history could have been changed forever.

The Hek

Wow, it's amazing how you can surprise yourself sometimes. I handed an assignment in that I thought was pure crap. Turns out I got a B- on it.

Well, off to do show prep. Tomorrow on the Wednesday Morning Special Blend, my co-host Noel and I will look at a website that allows you to send e-mails to your loved ones after you die. Check it out: 7-8am EST on CKCU-FM 93.1.

The Hek

Welcome to the new 2004. The Hek has returned to the Nation's Capital after a well deserved and much enjoyed break. I'm looking forward to the new year. It's like a fresh piece of paper and with my pen I will write another chapter of my life.

I feel a bit confused. I miss my family's home but I also miss what I have in Ottawa. Sometimes I question where my home really is. However, the more I question, the more I dwell. The more I dwell, the more I am filled with a sadness that will consume my purpose in life. Better put that out of my head.

It's time to continue to express.

The Hek