"Remember: The safety word is 'cookie.'"

All I have to say is dirtiest improv practice, ever.

The Hek

Apparently, I have two types of voices. There's my regular voice and then, there's my radio voice. According to Jen and Sandra, my radio voice came out when I did an article presentation in class today. I can see that happening.

Did a bunch of things at CKCU, today. First, I started to put together an add for a Special Blend Pancake breakfast that is being organized. I also got to go On Air again, sort of. Actually, I "teched" for someone. Teched means that a show's host is not trained on the soundboard or doesn't want to work the board; so, they get someone else to basically push the buttons and make sure the sound is good. That's what I did for a show called Window of Oppourtunity. It was a lot of fun and I got to hear some pretty good folky type music. I also got a free CD: Paul Anka's Rock Swings. He takes all these modern rock hits and gives them a big band sound.

Now, two people have commented on my statements about Buck 65 being the best Canadian musician ever. They suggested Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell and Alanis Morisette.

I consider Cohen to be a spoken word artist rather then a musician. I'm not really into the light folk sound of Joni Mitchell. And, despite Alanis has really developed her sound well, I feel Buck 65 is just more creative. Of course it's all my opinion and the three suggestions are certainty the best at what they do.

The Hek

The Hek hopes that everyone's Yom Kippur fast went well today. May we all be sealed in the book of life.

The show went extremely well and this was because I got to play the new Buck 65 single. It is an amazing tune. In fact, The Hek is going on the record to state that Buck 65 is the best Canadian musician of all time. He could totally trounce Neil Young and Shania Twain for example.

The Hek

The THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND!
Where morning wood is always expected;-)

Tomorrow, I'll play an interview I conducted with Evan Annett who has just written a book which chronicles 60 years of Carleton's independent student newspaper, The Charlatan.

I'll also have the sports recap, poem of the day, entertainment listings and so much more.

Requests? Predictions? Questions? Comments? Send them to thursday_blend@yahoo.ca

Tune in: 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tomorrow, the second round of the Baseball playoffs will begin. Here's how The Hek's predictions went:

The Hek Predicted
-Chicago over Boston in 5
-New York over Los Angeles/Anaheim in 5
-St.Louis over San Diego in 3
-Atlanta over Houston in 4

Here's what happened
-Chicago over Boston in 3
-Los Angeles/Anaheim over New York in 5
-St.Louis over San Diego in 3
-Houston over Atlanta in 5

I gave myself one half point if I got the team right and one half point if I picked the right games. This means I scored a 1.5 out of 4 which gives me, 38% accuracy. Hey, I didn't say I was an expert. The Yankees/Angels series could have gone either way; Chicago just dominated the Red Sox; Houston got some lucky brakes against the Braves; and, I was bang on with the Cardinals sweeping the Padres. So now, here are The Hek's predictions for round two:

American League Championship Series
Los Angeles/Anaheim vs. Chicago

Beating the Yankees was a huge confidence booster for the Angels and they will definitely gain an early advantage on the White Sox who haven't played since Friday. Then again, the White Sox are well rested and the injury to Angles pitcher Bartolo Colon may hurt his team. Still, it shall be an exciting series.
Chicago in 6

National League Championship Series
St. Louis vs. Houston

The Astros are starting to look like this year's version of the 2004 Red Sox. You have to give them credit for handling Atlanta like that. However, as long as St. Louis brings their 'A' game, I don't see the Astros making an appearance in the fall classic.
St. Louis in 6

Feel free to send me your predictions to thursday_blend@yahoo.ca. I'll read them on the air! And don't forget to catch the Thursday Morning Special Blend; 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

On Air Tonight: Monday, 9-11pm on CKCU 93.1 FM

I saw A History of Violence last night with my bud Owen, whose family made a great Thanksgiving meal. A History of Violence was not a bad film. Essentially, it is a film about identity told in the typical Cronenberg style (emphasis on the body). It gets The Hek Seal of Approval.

I already did a fill in today at the station from 8:30 - 9:00am and then I'm back at it at 9pm. Unfortunately the internet is down in the studio so I'm going to prepare some stuff before I head there.

The Hek

Today I was going to talk about some silly stuff at the Rideau Centre yesterday. But I don't want to, anymore. Something has happened. This is what happened.

When I was a young boy. My bed time would usually occur during the 4th or 5th inning of the Blue Jays game. But that never mattered because when I got to bed, I would simply turn on my radio and hear this man's voice. His voice was always calm and the descriptions he gave were well spoken but still easy enough for a youngster like me to understand. I would close my eyes and he would paint a picture for me; a landscape of heroes who I have worshipped for most of my life. For me, as a young child, it was the voice of god preaching the gospel known as baseball. Perhaps it was because of this man that I fell in love with sports and radio. His voice planted the seeds which now blossomed into this dream of working in radio.

Of course he was just a regular person who worked hard; an artist who constantly worked at his craft to please his fans. He didn't care about being popular. He cared about telling a story as best he could. From April 7, 1977 to June 13, 2004, this man called everything single Blue Jays game. Amongst all that was five division titles, two pennets and two world championships.

Now he is gone and although I never met him, I feel a great sense of loss. I am actually crying as I write this as I am sure everyone who grew up listening to him is as well. Thank you, Tom Cheek for everything, we shall miss you very much and we all will do our best so that one day, you will be recognized by Cooperstown.

The Hek

"I can't believe you're crazy enough to go to the Renegades game on a miserable cold rainy day like this but all the power to you. Go Gades!"

- Noel Waghorn leaving a message on The Hek's voice mail

I did go. Despite the fact that Frank Claire Stadium is a 15 minute walk from where I live and I have been living in Ottawa for almost four years, I have never watched a Renegades football game. I didn't even go to the Grey Cup which had the Argos in it and I have seen a bunch of 67's hockey games at the Civic Centre which is underneath Frank Claire. But that changed tonight. I decided to treat myself to some good old Friday night CFL action.

"Hey bud, want some free tickets courtesy of HOT 89.9?"

- Some stranger as The Hek was about to take out his wallet at the box office.

I saved $25! And they were good seats too. Lower south side near the east endzone. Ottawa beat Hamilton 43-21. The Tiger-Cats did a fine job of making the Renegades look like the top team in the CFL as opposed to their current dismal performance from this season. After the game, I walked by the players entrance and Kerry Joseph, the quarterback for the Renegades came out and started signing autographs. I got his signature on my ticket stub.

So to sum up: Free ticket + Autograph + Renegades win = One damn fine night.

The Hek

Spoke with someone from my past last night. It was a nice conversation. Some air was cleared. Some views were clarified. Some things never change. Some pleasantness exchanged.

The Hek

The THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND!!! Stylin' and Profilin'

Tomorrow, I will be speaking with writer and hockey fan Chris Robinson about the Senators and the new hockey season. I've also got some great tunes, sports, poems, entertainment listings and Bytowne movie listings.

Tune in: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Saw a great film today called Mean Streets. It stars a very young Harvey Kietel and an even younger Robert De Niro. Scorsese's first successful film and definitely one of his best.

But that's not what I am here to talk about. The World Series playoffs have started and here are The Hek's predictions:

NLDS 1: St. Louis vs. San Diego
The Cardinals have been my pick to win it all this year. They are a very strong team. Chris Carpenter had an amazing season as did Pujos and Edmonds. The Padres made it into the post-season by the skin of their teeth. I'm sorry, it's impossible to win the World Series when your regular season record had you just two games above 500. An easy one for the Cards.
St. Louis in 3

NLDS 2: Atlanta vs. Houston
For the second straight year, the Astros overcome a horrible start and make it into the playoffs. That's good but not great. The Braves have Ted Turner who provides lots of cash. Cash buys good ball players. Good ball players get success. Sad to say it, but its true.
Atlanta in 4

ALDS 1: Chicago vs. Boston
Since the season started, I have been telling people to watch out for the American League Central Division; especially the Twins and White Sox. Chicago has put together a pretty good team. They'll probably take the pennet too. As for the defending champion Red Sox, last year was full of miracles and good strokes of luck. But as my drama teacher, Mr. Stone once said: "Lighting does not strike twice.'
Chicago in 5

ALDS 2: New York vs. Los Angeles/Anaheim
The Yankees are exactly like the Braves. The Angels will put up a good fight but in the end, New York's experience will carry them through the next round.
New York in 5

Want to tell me your predictions? I'd love to hear them. I'll even read them on the air. Send me an email at thursday_blend@yahoo.ca

And don't forget the THURSDAY BLEND. 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM.

The Hek

The Hek would like to wish a very Happy and Healthy Shana Tova to everyone out there in the internet. May your year be sweet and may we all live to 120.

Now, I should have gotten a laptop.

Back in the summer of 2002, I was getting ready to purchase a new computer for my upcoming first year at Carleton. However, my father and I were originally going to get a laptop. We were turned off the idea because many people told us that laptops were one of the top things stolen at Universities. You turn your back on it, its gone. So instead we got my current compy. Today I am regretting that decision.

I almost spent the entire day in my room in front of this damn compy, typing out an essay while outside was just absolutely gorgeous. It got so bad, that I nearly had a panic attack. I'm not kidding, I was clawing the screen to my window. Finally, I just shut everything down and went outside to buy some bagels and a fine bottle of root beer.

If I had a laptop I could have typed out my essay outside at one of my "peaceful" spots; say, by the canal or at the steps of Parliament Hill. But that's just not in the cards.

The Hek

Yes, The Hek has changed the look. Thought I'd give it a little more flair.

First off, TNA Impact was fantastic. The two X Division matches were phenomenal and it was nice to watch Jeff Hardy and Rhino again. That's one of the main problems with the WWE. They have so much talent and not enough television time for everyone. Thankfully TNA has a small roster that coincides nicely with Impact and their syndicated show, Xpolsion. The X Division is the reason why TNA has been successful so far. In order to be a strong alternative to WWE, they really need to push the X Division properly. It doesn't really help when you've got all this amazing action from the X Division and have awesome crowd pops and then have your main feud be a couple of wrestlers that really don't need to be the main attractions; i.e. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash. In the meantime I am going to pray that AJ Styles never joins the WWE for he will be berried by Vince McMahon.

In other news, the Blue Jays wrapped up their season with 7-2 victory over Kansas City. This leaves them with a record of 80-82; a good improvement to 2004's 67-95 campaign. The main thing that really hurt the Jays this year was consitancy. One week they would play like All-Stars and the next week, play like the Bad News Bears. It also did not help when Roy Halliday went down with the season ending injury in July. Had that never happened, we would've had a few more wins and Halliday would have won the Cy Young award. There were some bright spots. Russ Adams, Gustavo Chacin and Aaron Hill had great rookie seasons. Shea Hillendbrand and Gregg Zaun had career years. The offense is there; it's the pitching that really needs to be fixed if the Jays want to compete for the World Series.

Finally, Mark and I have been pulling pranks on each other. I think Mark leads 5-3. Today however, he purposely startled me so bad that I threw down a fork and it took a chunk off one of my plates. If I didn't laugh so much over it, I would be really pissed off about it.

The Hek

Double Dragon

Kung-Fu

Mike Tyson's Punchout

I am playing these games and I love it.

The Hek

The Hek, The Hek, The Hek IS ON FIRE!!!

Saw an amazing match off the NWA: Total Non-Stop Action website. Ultimate X Challenge: AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabain vs. Petey Williams. I cannot wait for TNA's debut on Spike. If you have not seen this stuff, The Hek highly recommends you see these guys in action. It is an awesome alternative to WWE.

The week is over people. Thank fucking god. I have an assignment every week until the beginning of December.

Just got off the phone with the ever so good hearted ErinMarie. She told me that York University is the only school in Canada that cancels classes for Jewish New Year. Now that's something. I remember in high school when even the non-Jewish students wouldn't go to school on the high holidays.

Now to Mr. Wood: the 80's music I played on my show was by Linda Talyor and Billy Curtz (not sure if I got his name right). I also played a live version "Keep on Rockin' In The Free World" and Johnny Cash's "Walk The Line."

And to Pear and Soup Girl: Wrestling catch phrases totally reek of awesomeness. They're as memorable as movie quotes. Props must go out to you for recognizing the phrase. The question is, do you know who said it? If you guess it right, I'll give The Claire Witch Project an honorary Hek Seal of Approval.

The Hek

Tons of stuff to get to today.

The show went well today. I love live radio especially, when things happen unexpectedly and you have to think on your feet. Just before I hit the air, I notice that there were no CD carts. Without these, I can't play CD's; so, I busted out the vinyl. This will explain why the show featured a mini-set of 80's Canadian Rock. Fortunately, I was able to locate a cart near the end the show and played one CD (it happened to have the poem of the day on it). The only downside was that both the K-OS and Death From Above 1979 CDs disappeared from our library.

My roommate Mark had an interesting dream. He dreamt that a mystery girl came into our apartment, bawling her eyes out. Apparently, I went over to cheer her up and did such a good job of this, that the girl and I went into my room and Rocked The Casbah without even having the decency to shut the door. Then, Sandra and Jen came over and witnessed what was going on while Mark was playing poker on his compy. Not going to lie to you: Best dream of me ever by someone else. I hope Mark is a psychic.

My film professor made a reference to Mystery Science Theatre 3000. I shuddered as I remember watching this during the summer. Good idea for a TV show. Bad idea for a film. Unless your name is Erin or Marie, the darn thing puts you to sleep.

Finally, there were two interesting comments made for my September 28th entry. I encourage you all to read them. Anglelina's comment was well done. As for the comment made by (I believe) Pear and Soup girl, she is just jealous of my Hollywood good looks and Brad Pitt hair.

Smell you later,
The Hek

OH it's true. It's damn true.

Be sure to catch the Thursday Morning Special Blend, tomorrow. I'll have the sports recap, poem of the day, and so much more.

LISTEN: Thursday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

I like it how in her last week as Governor General, Adrienne Clarkson held a bunch of parties and moved off Rideau Hall in a brand new car. This was probably all paid for by all us Canadian tax payers. How about that?

Now, The Hek will comment about the comments from yesterday's blog.

1. The Hek smells like a rose. Beautiful and sensual and manly.

2. I would never body slam women. Don't know what Mr. Wood was thinking there.

Don't forget: Thursday Morning Special Blend, 7-8am on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

The Hek is now an official member of Axe U. CKCU received a complementary "student" kit and my PD decided to give it me. Inside the kit was a small container of Axe body spay, which means one thing: I can now conduct my experiment.

I'm going to put that stuff on and see if women throw themselves at me like the commercial. Stay tuned.

The Hek

Spent another weekend reading pointless stuff that will mostly have no effect on my future. What the hell is the point of University anyway? I am sick and tired of jumping through all these hoops for the last four years just to get some paper that tells people that I know a thing or two about the Mass Media. Every time I have to fork out money for something so overpriced and sit and learn about the hegemonic process, I feel a little more dead inside. Whoever said that University is about acquiring knowledge was probably someone so fearful of the outside world. University is about finding yourself and figuring out what the hell you want to do with your life. The real lessons are outside the classroom. Instead of papers and presentations, we should be graded on how we do our laundry, how we budget our expensive, how we balance our social life with our work life. Our diplomas should come when we do decide on a career path. I figured out what I wanted to do in the summer of 2004. It took me only two years.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I just wanted to stay there. I did not want to get out because I knew I would have to walk on down to the off campus book store and plop down some cash for a 500 page book that I probably won't even finish. Some bullshit by DH Lawrence, Women in Love. The only thing that made the trip tolerable was my desire to really see the beauty that Ottawa has.

I love Ottawa. I love Carleton. But I just hate school.

The Hek

Today, The Hek and his buddy Owen went to go see The Corpse Bride. Clocking in at only 77 minutes, this film gets straight to the plot and disposes of the usual filler. I have never been interested in films that were entirely made with computer graphics and playdoh; however, it was an entertaining film and had some funny parts. I give it 3 HEKS out of five and award it The Hek Seal of Approval (suck on it, Toothless Timmy).

The Hek

I would like to make the following statement:

There has been some controversy regarding The Hek Seal of Approval. Allegations have been raised stating that The Hek Seal of Approval is a ripoff of a similar award known as "The ErinMarie Seal of Approval." Let me go on the record by stating that The Hek Seal of Approval is an original idea and that anything else that has any resemblance to it is strictly coincidental.

The Hek Seal of Approval is like your boss giving you the thumbs up whereas the ErinMarie one is like getting a pat of the back by Toothless Timmy in the mail room.

If there is anyone who disagrees with my above statements, I cordially invite them to Ottawa where we can have a fight to the death to decide who is right.

The Hek

I was on the air for five hours today and I loved it! Everything went quite well. There's a chance that some clips will be put on The Charlatan website. Thanks to everyone who listened; especially to all the Starbacks out there in radio land.

In other news, The Dudley Boys have signed with NWA-TNA. This is huge as Bubba Ray and D-Von are one of the most successful tag teams in history. They're the only team to capture the WWE, WCW and ECW titles. There's a lot of talent that the WWE released and if TNA was smart, they would sign them all. Think about it; Charlie Haas, Billy Kidman, Mohammed Hassan, Matt Morgan etc.

The Hek

The Hek will be on the airwaves for five hours tomorrow.

You can catch me from 7-8am EST for the Thursday Morning Special Blend.

Then, I will be broadcasting from 12-4pm EST for The Charlatan 60th Anniversary BBQ.

Tune to: CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

The Hek went to see a film last night with Mark and Simon. The only question was which film would they see. The Man or Lord Of War.

In the end, we chose to see Lord Of War. It was a great film that makes a very strong statement at the end of the film. This film receives The Hek Seal Of Approval.

The Hek

For the second straight Sunday, I did my readings by the Rideau Canal near Colonel By Drive. I found this really nice spot that has the only bench in any form of shade. As I was reading, a man who was obviously homeless showed up and parked his bike (with a trunk attached to it) next to the bench. Of course, I did not mind. He did his thing and I did mine. But then, he took out a hammer, a paint brush and a can of black pine tar and began to hammer tar off the brush into the small pond across form the bench while muttering something incoherent under his breath. I took that as my cue to exit. Now, I have nothing against the homeless. In most cases, they're homeless because of circumstances beyond their control. However, when they start to act "weird" and "crazy," I feel threatened. I could have stayed there and no harm would probably happen to me. But - and I am sorry to be like this - you never know what could happen. Maybe its just my paranoia talking.

In the meantime, I am sitting back and listening to an NHL Pre-Season game. Canadiens and Thrashers to be exact. It is good to hear hockey again. Who knows what the new NHL will look like.

The Hek

Ladies and gentlemen. The following match is scheduled for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit. Making his way to the ring, from Thornhill, Ontario, weighing in at 150 pounds.....The Hek!

Had a great time at Noel's birthday party yesterday. I was assigned to keep him busy while his wife set up the surprise party and cake. And it was a good cake. Safe to say that I have had my monthly quota of sugar.

Today is also the first meeting of the Carleton Improv Association. Along with CKCU, the CIA is great escape from the bullshit that goes along with being a university student.

The Hek

Man it felt damn good to be back on the radio this morning. I am really excited for next week. Not only will I be doing the Thursday Blend from 7-8am but, I will also be co-hosting a program that will celebrate the 60th anniversary of Carleton's student newspaper, The Charlatan. That will go from 12:00 - 4:00pm on Thursday. More details to come.

The Hek

Be sure to tune into the THURSDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND. Tomorrow I'll have a recap of the local sports teams and interviews with Ottawa's top spoken word artists who just released a new album called Live at Capital Slam 2005. Plus there will be much more.

I am very excited about doing the show. I'm not sure what's going to happen, there might be some mistakes because I have not done it in four months; but regardless, it is going to be off the chain.

7-8 am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

The Hek has always had a knack for choosing the right courses to take; and this time, The Hek has hit the jackpot.

The course I am taking is FILM 3901: Selected Topic in Film Studies.

This term's selected topic: Martin Scorsese

That's correct, you read it right. Until the start of December, The Hek will be viewing all his best work. Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and, even some films that inspired him.

There is only one negative aspect. The instructor has apparently forgotten that the students have four other courses to worry about and therefore, has assigned a crapload of reading each week. I have a feeling that the instructor is one of those power hungry profs who had a miserable life and gets back at the world with his new authority. We shall see.

The Hek

It's too hot today.

The Hek

The Hek got new Spek's. They look great! But speaking about eyewear, I am really getting bugged by sunglasses. Too many people hide behind these things. Every time I pass someone wearing sunglasses, I don't know if they're looking at me, frowning at me or looking at something past me. It is quite unnerving.

The Hek

After getting on the bus following a rather inconvenient hour wait, the strangest thought hit me in the head.

What if this was all just a dream? What if it is still August, 2002 and I am still that skinny 19-year-old who has been sheltered from the real world all his life? What if all the people I have met, kissed and made love to never existed; they were all just a figment of my imagination.

Of course, I know its real. What do you think I am? Some Thornhill loving, psycho-drama promoting art-teeist? I don't think so.

I was like that, a long time ago.

The Hek

Interesting way to start off the school year.

I arrived at my first class (Modern Publicity State, 8:30 - 11:30am) of the year; so did everyone else. There was just one thing missing, the prof. She didn't show up. So, after 45 minutes, we decided collectively to leave. Being mostly fourth year students, we had the decency to leave her a note with all our student numbers on it. Later in the day, I and my fellow class mates received an e-mail from the prof. It turns out that she got stuck in traffic and was unable to make it to Carleton. She did send us our course syllabus in an attachment and also noted that our coursepack/text book was available at Octopus Books at the corner of Third Avenue and Bank Street for................................$77.00.

$77?! Are you kidding The Hek?

Two things irritate The Hek about this.

First off, the pack/book is at an independent book store. Not cool. See, I purposely put a lot of money on my campus card so that I have enough money for texts when I purchase them at Carleton's book store. When a prof puts a text at an independent book store like Octopus Books or Allegra Publishing it means that I have to pay out of my own personal account instead of using my campus card. Basically, all the money I put on my campus card for books goes to waste.

Second, $77 for a bunch of articles I am probably going to read once? Not going to happen, people.

Here is what's going to happen. The Hek is taking the strategy his roommate is using. I am going to go to the library, find every book that originally published the articles for the upcoming week and the photo copy them at 8 cents a page. Think about it, a 40 page article will only cost me $3.20. That's it, that's all, baby goes to sleep.

The Hek

If you can translate this, you have no life. Got ya!

The Hek

Just set up a brand new Fantasy Hockey team on the Yahoo website. This year, teams will crumble when LES HABS take the ice. I am also listening to the Blue Jays over the computer. Right now, they are losing to Baltimore, 4-0. Ted Lilly didn't last three innings giving up five walks and three earned runs. Just The Hek's luck, Lilly is on my fantasy baseball team. In the end its always the same story for the Blue Jays: with the exception of Roy Halliday, they lack consistent pitching.

Went on over to CKCU today to see how things are. Turns out that my first show will be on September 15. I was really hoping to start this Thursday but, it appears that the guy who does the timeslot now (7-8am) has already planned a show. He might let me do the show this week since he already does the 8:00 - 9:30am on Thursdays and he reluctantly agreed to do the extra hour until I got back to Ottawa. For the time being, I'll start next week and I can't wait. I love being on the radio. It's what I want to do once I finish school. When I am at CKCU, its a wonderful escape from the craziness that goes with being a University student. In the meantime, I was given some sports books to look at and possibly interview the authors. I also plan on covering the CD release party for the Capital Slam poets.

I found this really cool website. It's a blog for New York radio station WFMU. On this blog there is a section that has these neat MP3's of strange remixes and weird sound bites from other radio stations. For example, there's an MP3 clip of a CBC Northern Service broadcast during the 1981 CBC strike. Basically, you have this Inuit man who apparently worked as a janitor and filled in for the striking radio staff. He speaks in his native language and then sings a song about the Ayatollah. There are also clips of Inuit commercials for beer companies.

Check out it here: WFMU's On the Download

This was my favourite clip: Michael Jackson vs. Cookie Monster

The Hek

If there is one thing that I love about downtown Ottawa, it would have to be Wellington Street. On this one single street are all the important government buildings. Sure, Toronto may have all its tourist attractions but Wellington Street is the epicentre of our historic and cultural development. It was in these buildings where the seeds were planted that gave Canadians the ability to define themselves. Almost every building was built in the late 1800's/early 1900's, has beautiful gardens and, is surrounded by paths that allow you to see the building in its entirety. The architecture is just breathtaking.

So here is how I took advantage of a beautiful day in Ottawa. First, I got off at the Parliament buildings and then made my way to the Supreme Court of Canada. While there, I wrote about about Justice. Then, I made my way to the National Archives and Library which has some amazing exhibits and free postcards. Finally, I finished my journey by walking the Ottawa River path which takes me to the Rideau Canal. I went up the stairs from there, past the NAC, War Memorial and then back to parliament where I took the bus home. All in all, three hours of fresh air and good exercise.

Time to get off the soapbox.

The Hek

Have no fear, dear reader. The Hek is back at Good Ol' Carleton U.

I am happy to report that my place is in the same condition I left it in. However, there was one sweet addition: a fluorescent light. Last year, my room only had two small light bulbs. This year, there is this mother of a fluorescent light over my compy and suddenly my room is bright. About fucking time if you ask The Hek.

Last night, I enjoyed some quality television, i.e. the original Dukes of Hazzard and WWE: Velocity. Good to see Spanky back in the WWE. I also had my first improv show of the year and it went well. It attracted quite a number of froshies.

In any case, it feels damn good to be back in Ottawa. I don't know what it was (it certainly wasn't my friends and co-workers, just for the record) but, I felt somewhat held down in Thornhill.

The Hek

Time to go back to Ottawa. You can expect more entries from here on. Now that was a summer that reeked of awesomeness.

The Hek

ps- TU ES CINQ ANS!!! FOU FOU FOU!

A child with one shoe
still runs in a haze
colliding with a wall

The Hek

Another reason why The Hek is a true Superstar:

Today, The Hek ate seven slices of pizza. They were all pepperoni. This completely shatters any Thornhill Camp Staff record. Take that, East St. Louis.

The Hek

Gotta Love Haiku Hek

the golden cylinder
sitting on a rock
steals my memories

The Hek

Today was the day I was to register for my courses. Now at first, everything went well. I had successfully registered in 4 fall courses and was about to put in a fifth one when the Central website stopped working. I spent the next 90 minutes trying to get back online but despite my best efforts I kept getting a page that simply read "This Page Does Not Exist." I called Carleton to find out what was going on. Turns out the website crashed and was down for awhile. Amazing isn't it. They spend all this money for this great website that is suppose to make registering easy and yet it can't handle a small section of the student population whose student cards have the last two digits of 75-83.

Finally, after much frustration, the website came back and I was ready to continue. But then, just as I am about to finish my fall schedule a great big rainstorm causes the power in my building to go out and remained out for a good ten minutes. I almost threw my computer out the window.

What was suppose to take maybe 30 minutes took three hours. I have all my courses ready to go. Thank God this is my last year and I will never have to do this again. (knocks on wood). One thing is for sure. I bet I was not the only one who wasted a beautiful afternoon cursing Carleton Central.

The Hek

It would appear a rather embarrassing photo of The Hek, Mike and Jess have surfaced on Erin-Marie's Live Journal. As of now The Hek has no comment on the picture in question nor the people involved. Don't you just hate it when a practical joke backfires.

The Hek

Haiku :-)


a slow passionate breeze
swallowed by the trees
causes an apple to fall

The Hek

Some thoughts from the cafeteria at St.Micheal's Hospital:

Today, there was a terrorist attack in England; a series of explosions in London's subway system. Two innocent people have lost their lives. Now, I'm not a Bush supporter, but I do support the war on terror. There has to be an end to this bloodshed.

Camp is going fine. I have a camper with an awesome mullet.

That is all

The Hek

purpil rockets blast off
through a demension of pleasure
for a misguided french girl

The Hek

The Hek is flying by the seat of his pants and I love it!

flash of heat is felt
to the sounds of earth
father vadar

The Hek

Pushing a Giant log
Jousting a friend and losing
very sore today

The Hek

I began camp preparation. However, throughout the entire day I felt empty and sad. I'm not sure if it was simply a case of not wanting to be there or something else. I use to enjoy working the camps. Now, I'm just going through the motions. It's like I'm on a total different wave length then my co-workers. I enjoy them and they're wonderful people but I just don't fit in. They all want to be teachers. I want to be a DJ on the radio. See the problem?

Family Guy and American Dad were off the charts. Yet, I heard some information that I don't care about but it made my blood boil for some reason. In any case, I got three awesome CDs from my boys so, there's something to look forward to.

Now: Three quotes from Paul Heymen.

"JBL, you are only champion because HHH didn't want to work on Tuesday."

"Edge, I have two words for you; Matt Hardy."

"I'm not crying. My eyes are red because I smoked a joint with Van Dam in the back."

CENA?! John Cena is now on Monday Night RAW. The Hek did not see that one coming. So, logic says that Smackdown's first pick will be Dave Batista. Then again, this is the WWE writing unit we are talking about.

An early summer morning
stranded by shorten time
free car needed

The Hek

Today, somebody from the Smackdown roster will be drafted onto Raw. Chris Jericho has already lined up the first interview with the new Raw talent. So, who could it be? The Hek is predicting that it will either be Carlito Caribbean Cool, Orlando Jordan, Big Show or, Charlie Haas. Also, Sandman and Tommy Dreamer are said to be on the show tonight. ECW, ECW, ECW.

It's funny when the children I teach try to knock me down with giant shaped mats. I just put my hand out and the force knocks them right on their asses. Kids are funny.

The Hek

Hey did you know it's Claire's b-day. I don't really know Claire but, it was her b-day so, The Hek wishes her a Happy B-day!!!!!

Gee, I hope Mr. Wood remembered to wear pants.

The Hek

spring month takes shape
less clothes to wear
capers begin

*I chose to have no capitals because that's how I roll.

The Hek

Yes. Still not dead.

bank card unfolded
money into hands
lots to buy

The Hek

Ha ha. Still not dead.

Just got back from Ottawa. Noel and Leslie got married and it was truly a wonderful event. I wish them nothing but the best.

I wonder if Tim enjoyed the concert.

The Hek

Still not dead.

Okay, the day is almost here. Of course I am talking about Noel and Leslie's wedding. This event has been in the works since November, 2003 and it is finally about to go down. The Hek will be in Ottawa from Thursday to Sunday. I also hope to see Tim who will be returning from England.

I am so excited. The Hek + Groomsmen Tuxedo = Money.

The Hek

Still not dead. Got sick though. Life has been turned upside down face. Whoops.

The Hek

No, I'm not dead. I just don't have internet. BTW, The Tony Danza Show is quality entertainment.

The Hek

This is it.

Another school year has come to an end. It feels like yesterday I said good bye to my soon to be ex-girlfriend and made my way to Ottawa for my third year of university. So much has happened since then. I got stronger, I got wiser, and I am a better man. Where has the time gone? All I have is one more year and then life as a university student is finished.

It's ironic, as this day approached, I was looking forward to it. But now, here it is and yet I don't feel so excited. Part of me is sad. I guess sometimes you come to love something you don't like. Truth is, I love Ottawa and I love Carleton. I just really hate school.

Okay, now that I am going home to Thronhill, the posts are going to be less frequent. So be sure to check in at least once a month or so.

To all The Hek's peeps in Toronto: Get ready. Next time we speak we will be on Thronhill time.

The Hek

So I wanted to be up at 8:00am today so I could get a good start before heading to CKCU at 10:00am. Of course, I did not set my alarm right and ended up waking up at 9:55am. Stupid alarm clock. Today my roommate Mark, my buddy Simon and myself were all suppose to go bowling. Simon was harping on me to do something on Thursday before I head back home. He told me on Tuesday that he was coming to my place at 1:00pm. He never showed. The guy calls me at 5:30pm saying that he was helping his mum move, broke something and they had to go to Ikea to fix it. Boourns. I really wanted to use my "excuse me miss, will you touch my balls for good luck" line at the bowling alley.

And what's with the WWE getting rid of Matt Hardy and Molly Holly. They're two of the best wrestlers on the roster. Matt makes no sense at all, he's injured. Not only that by he has to work with his ex-girlfriend Lita who cheated on him in real life with Edge, one of Matt's fellow co-workers. Then, there's Molly. She is the best female wrestler they have. But no, the WWE would rather have talentless Diva search contestants instead. Hopefully those two will land in NWA-TNA or maybe Japan.

The Hek

Well today I had my last radio show for the season and my last exam for the term. Both went extremely well. Today is also my friend Jen's birthday. She's partying it up right now at some Ottawa dance club. Unfortunately, I am not going because I am not a big fan of dance clubs, just not my type of atmosphere. However, she will be getting a nice birthday greeting.

Also, yesterday I studied by the Rideau River. It is the best spot on campus during the spring and summer months. Not only did I study, but I also was entertained by these four guys in a water craft who were going against the tide and trying to beat the rapids. Took them four tries before they fully cleared all the rapids.

The Hek

The WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND!!!

Be sure to tune in tomorrow as it will be my last show before the summer. If there is one thing I am going to miss, it would have to be the show. Never fear for I will be back in September.

I'll have the usual stuff: Music news, sports recap, entertainment and Byetowne listings, awesome tunes, plus much more.

Remember: Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

So you can't see Downfall at the Byetowne. What do you do?

You decide to head to the Rideau Centre where there is a three-screen Famous Players Theatre. The films are: Sahara, Million Dollar Baby and Miss congeniality 2. Now you have seen MDB, what do you watch?

Sahara!

Decent film, nothing special, does the J O B.

The Hek

Not doing anything tonight? In the Ottawa Area? Come to the Free IMPROV show!!!!

7:30pm, Fenn Lounge - Residence Commons at Carleton Univeristy.

The Hek

Okay,

time to write the last paper of the school year. 12 pages due Friday. Fuuuuuun.

The Hek

WEDNESDAY BLEND

2.5 HOURS OF PURE HEK INSANITY

7-9:30am EST, Wednesday!

CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Looks like I went 3 for 8 in my Wrestlemania predictions last night. I totally forgot about Eddie vs. Rey. Aw well. What can you do.

In other news, the Blue Jays won their opener over Tampa Bay. WOOT! Props go out to Eric Hinske for his stellar play.

The Hek

Ahhhh. Nothing like writing a paper with a cool breeze blowing in. Alright, down to business.

Here it is ladies and gentlemen, The Hek's Wrestlemania 21 predictions. The winners will be:

- Dave Batista
- John Bradshaw Layfield
- Randy Orton (Although Stacey Keibler might do something causing Randy the match and allowing the Undertaker to go 13-0 at Wrestlemania)
- Kurt Angle (That's going to be the match of the night)
- Edge
- Christy Hemme by DQ (meaning she wins the match but not the belt)
- Big Show vs. Akebono will be a draw

Also I expect Hogan will be there. Maybe something with Hassan. Also, expect Austin to give the old Stone Cold Stunner to Roddy Piper.

The Hek

I've decided to swear off sex until I get married. It's just not worth it. Intercourse should be something special. Not some kind of cheap thrill. The bottom line is this, I'm keeping it in my pants. I, The Hek, hereby swear off sex.

The Hek












APRIL FOOL'S SUCKERS!!!!!


The Hek

Some good news for you today. I have received my offer of residence accommodation which I means I will leaving at good old Carleton for my fourth and final year. The best part of this is I'll be in the same building, in the same suite and in the same room.

Also I have decided what I am going to write about for my Canadian Literature paper: The one and only Leonard Cohn. You know how it is. Looks like freedom but it feels like death.

The Hek

Yes! Did not get locked out of the station. I was also on for an additional 45 minutes. Best of all I found an MC Hammer album from 1988!!!

Here's the best part, ladies and germs. One of my profs announced that he was canceling the final exam we were suppose to have. Now that's a prof who gets my vote for best call ever.

Time to put a baseball team together. Let's see, A-Rod or Pujos?

The Hek

Alright. Tomorrow: Wednesday Morning Special Blend.

Hopefully I won't get locked out. Cross your fingers and your toes. Say a little prayer.

Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Enjoying the comedy
conquering my loneliness
weekend wasted

The Hek

Here I am in the good old Lanark Lab, working on my paper because if The Hek stays in his place too long, I get what you people call Cabin Fever. I am probably going to watch some comedy tonight. My only worry about that is how OC Transpo's Easter Holiday schedule is going to affect me. Apparently, the last O-Train from Carling to Carleton is 11:18pm. Normally, it's 12:03am. There are bus routes but they might be done when the comedy show is done. Wow, this is shaping up to be quite an adventure.

The Hek

For those who tuned in on Wednesday, allow me to explain why I was not on. Simply put, I got to the station and found out that it was locked and no one was inside at all. By the time I had gone through the proper channels and got in the station it was 7:57am. Now that, sucks.

The Hek

Pillar to Post and Coast to Coast. Be sure to tune into the Wednesday Morning Special Blend. I'll have the usual stuff as well as going over the results of the Genie Awards and also the Carleton Ravens who won their third straight national title in men's basketball.

Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Tim says:

"Rugby talks..." read all about it.
http://rugbysinklings.blogspot.com

BTW, Happy B-day to EEW.

The Hek

Tim sends us these comments:

1. Happy Birthday Eric
2. I take issue with the outlandish comment that was left by Angelina, and I think your tone of your post doesn't help the argument you're trying to advance. Honestly, I don't see what's so harsh about Eric's comment. It's not hidden that their life probably sucks. I bet if you went up and asked them then and there, they'd tell you that their lives sucked bad. And the truth is that life is about choices, God gave us free will, and what happens is from the choices we made in the past. Obviously those girls who are pregnant at that age and have the "highs" from morning sickness... They made choices which brought them there. No, I don't think we should judge them or anything. We're in no place for that. But I think it's also stupid to play dumb too and pretend that there's no difference between the choices you/me made and those that they made. The truth is in the result, and the result is where we are right now. Angelina is off the mark here. Eric didn't pull any "better than thou, bullshit."

Here is Angelina's comments:

Because your comment forum sucks and I cannot defend my stance. http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/laughing_corpse/

The Hek

My post on Monday, March 14 has garnered quite a response. The Hek is no doubt pleased about this. One of the reasons why I post my thoughts is so that I can get people talking and reacting. It's sort of a need to be heard and not having what I say disappear in vain. My comments for this particular post were put together during my birthday as I was "walking the Earth." I wanted to take the time to reflect and I became another year older. It was in the McDonalds when my reflections became words and thoughts. It was those three people who caused it. Without further ado, here is what I said:

Here's your moment of perspective.

I was sitting in a McDonalds yesterday across from the Rideau Centre. Next to me were three people; two girls and a guy. Here is what I overheard from their conversation. Girl 1 was a drug addict with two kids (separate fathers BTW) and a boyfriend who just got out of jail. About 22 years old. She claimed that getting knocked up twice were "mistakes but, it happens, and that's all there is to it." Girl 2 who was probably 20 years old, maybe younger; happened to be pregnant. She asked Girl 1 about whether it hurt to give birth. Girl 1's response: "It hurts for a bit. But, once its done, you are on the biggest high. It's awesome. If the morning sickness gets to you, just smoke some weed. It's harmless. Just don't drink." The guy was sitting there making rants about politics and how he wished he lived somewhere other then Canada.

So, if you ever think that your life sucks, I want you to think about the three people I just mentioned. I want you all to realize that things for you could be much worse. Take pride that you made good choices in your life and have no regrets.

Here is the response I received from one of this blog's readers:

That's bullshit. I mean...just because those two girls are/were pregnant and they're not in the best of situations...It doesn't give you the right to compare your life to theirs and think you've made the best of choices in life. After all, you don't know their circumstances or their hardships. If any, they're stronger to live with their mistakes. Raising a child--let alone two is not an easy feat and NOT in your place to judge and compare your "good" choices to theirs.

That is such an insult. The worst possible situation is when you're dead. You shouldn't take pride in your choices in life--be it right or wrong. Take pride in the fact that you make mistakes and learn from them. What's the point in living a good life when you have no redeeming values? You live and you learn. The fact that you're fortunate in life doesn't give you the right to pull this "better than thou" bullshit. -end rant-

# posted by Angelina

To Angel Lee: Thank you for your thoughts. You might not believe this, but I really do appreciate it. As for the rest of you who read this, I would love to get your reactions to the opinions expressed. Feel free to say somthing on the comment board. HOWERVER, it would be best to place your comments at the little comments sign (The one that looks like this: (0)comments). The big comments sign (The one that looks like this: Comments(0)) is all screwed up and you can never post more then one comment.

In any case, feel free to say anything.

The Hek

Be sure to tune into tomorrows Wednesday Morning Special Blend. I'll have the usual stuff and hope to speak with the playwright for a show called Pre Authorized Pimpage. You definitely want to hear about it.

Tune in! Wednesday, 7-8am EST, on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

Just checking to see if my compy has been acting up

Here's your moment of perspective.

I was sitting in a McDonalds yesterday across from the Rideau Centre. Next to me were three people; two girls and a guy. Here is what I overheard from their conversation. Girl 1 was a drug addict with two kids (separate fathers BTW) and a boyfriend who just got out of jail. About 22 years old. She claimed that getting knocked up twice were "mistakes but, it happens, and that's all there is to it." Girl 2 who was probably 20 years old, maybe younger; happened to be pregnant. She asked Girl 1 about whether it hurt to give birth. Girl 1's response: "It hurts for a bit. But, once its done, you are on the biggest high. It's awesome. If the morning sickness gets to you, just smoke some weed. It's harmless. Just don't drink." The guy was sitting there making rants about politics and how he wished he lived somewhere other then Canada.

So, if you ever think that your life sucks, I want you to think about the three people I just mentioned. I want you all to realize that things for you could be much worse. Take pride that you made good choices in your life and have no regrets.

The Hek

Here's your moment of perspective.

I was sitting in a McDonalds yesterday across from the Rideau Centre. Next to me were three people; two girls and a guy. Here is what I overheard from their conversation. Girl 1 was a drug addict with two kids (separate fathers BTW) and a boyfriend who just got out of jail. About 22 years old. She claimed that getting knocked up twice were "mistakes but, it happens, and that's all there is to it." Girl 2 who was probably 20 years old, maybe younger; happened to be pregnant. She asked Girl 1 about whether it hurt to give birth. Girl 1's response: "It hurts for a bit. But, once its done, you are on the biggest high. It's awesome. If the morning sickness gets to you, just smoke some weed. It's harmless. Just don't drink." The guy was sitting there making rants about politics and how he wished he lived somewhere other then Canada.

So, if you ever think that your life sucks, I want you to think about the three people I just mentioned. I want you all to realize that things for you could be much worse. Take pride that you made good choices in your life and have no regrets.

The Hek

Celebrating 22 years!

Gone out to walk the Earth and watch some stand up. :-)

The Hek

Now Celebrating 22 years!

If anyone is looking for me, I'll be walking the Earth, reflecting. Leave a message.

The Hek

My compy is acting up again.

The Hek

Wow, I never knew scholars and intellectuals discussed Disney so much.

The Hek

A poker player
leaves the room
poor but content

The Hek

"I am not marking on public speaking, but I wanted to mention that your presentation skills are excellent. You have a very confident, relaxed style - a future lecturer maybe?"

The Hek's professor on a presentation he gave two weeks ago. Final mark: 10 out of 10, A+.

The Hek

Rock on! The Hek is through with the fever that ruined his weekend and now, he's getting ready for another episode of the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND.

BIG NEW FOR THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: Noel is back!!!

Yes Noel will be co-hostin with me this week. Where has he been all this time? You'll just have to tune in to find out.

Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

The Hek is dealing with a nasty fever, totally ruining his fucking weekend. What makes things really bad were the hallucinations I had at 4am last fucking night. For some reason, I thought was surrounded with my fellow soldiers and a plague was reeking havoc in the trenches.

Then I started to have these dreams. The only one I can remember was where my buddy Owen and I took these two girls out to some medieval fair in Ottawa. For some reason I kept saying it was like the CNE which, was not true at all. Then, we're in a restaurant and I look to see the Museum of Civilization has been moved from Gatineau to some fucking forest. And, for some stupid reason, it was being called "York Hospital." That's just messed up.

The real bad thing about being sick is the huge amount of time you are all alone. When I get lonely, I get sad and start to think about things that I don't really want to think about. Fucking fever.

The Hek

Brothers and sisters, cats and chicks! Here's a little funny to take you into the weekend. Enjoy

The Fat Dutch Kid

The Hek

I think I am developing a crush on Judy Garland. Too bad she's been dead for thirty years.

I was watching The Rise and Fall of ECW last night. Brought back a lot of memories. Now there was a wrestling company that never sucked at what they did. People say Vince McMahon is the most important man in the history of wrestling. I disagree. The most important man in the history of wrestling, without a shadow of a doubt was Paul Heyman. Paul E. gave wrestling a much needed re-birth in 1993. Without his work in ECW, WWE would not be what it is today. The whole era of Attitude would have never taken place without the insanity that went on in a bingo hall in Philly.

Speaking of which, I miss the Blue World Order. Remember the good old days when Stevie Richards (now Steven), Nova (now Simon Dean) and the Blue Meanie (now much slimmer) were running around with their wacky shannigans?

The Hek

Now this, is news!

The WWE announced that an episode of the famous Piper's Pit will be held at Wrestlemania 21. And who will Roddy Piper be interviewing, Stone Cold Steve Austin. That's who.

So let's see...

HHH vs. Batista
JBL vs. John Cena
HBK vs. Kurt Angle
Piper's Pit

I am so looking forward to April!!!!

The Hek

It's March and what better way to start the month then by listening to the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND.

On tomorrow's show I hope to speak with an organizer of the Canada Improv Games. I will also be giving away free tickets to see Rent at the National Arts Centre. Plus the usual stuff. ROCK ROCK ON!

Tune in: Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

It's March and what better way to start off this month then by listening to the WEDNESDAY MORNING SPECIAL BLEND.

On tomorrow's show I hope to speak with an organizer from the Canada Improv games. I will also be giving away free tickets to Rent at the National Arts Centre. Plus, as always, the usual stuff. ROCK ROCK ON!

Tune in: Wednesday, 7-8am EST on CKCU 93.1 FM

The Hek

For all those who love the spoken word, here are two websites that The Hek endorses.

In/Words

Aspiring Creative Writers (aka, AC F'N W....lol)

The Hek

Last night, I had this dream.

I was sitting at my computer and in the span of two minutes, I found out that many of my friends and acquaintances - who, mean a lot to me - were heading over to Iraq, at the height of war, to write stories about it. There I was, so safe and so far away from any danger; and yet I was the only one scared. I was scared that they would all be killed. I was scared that I would be all by myself forever.

Right now, I am staring at the book I am currently reading, The Wars by Timothy Findley. There's a character who sits underneath a table while his headquarters is being bombed by the Germans. He turns to Robert Ross and says "Isn't it marvelous."

There are three things I dream about:

1. Doing my show at CKCU and everything goes wrong.
2. Going to a Blue Jays game and getting lost on the way.
3. Something to do with death and the people I care most about.

The Hek

Hey, Hey, HEY!!!

Where did my reading week go? In the words of Carlito Caribbean Cool, "That's....Not cool."

And there is still my take home exam. Four questions, an answer per page and, I haven't done most of the readings. Fun!

The Hek